Chism Trail

Growing up

2012-01-16T21:30:00.000-08:00

Lilli's Daddy and I both commented this weekend that she seems to have grown up over night. She's always saying things that make us laugh, sometimes she says things that make us cringe too!

Tonight as I was rocking her (some might think she's too old to be rocked, but guess what? She's my baby and I'll rock her as long as she asks me to. Maybe longer!) she told me she wanted to sing me a song. Here's how it went (vaguely to the tune of "My Bonnie"): "My family came to pick me up, because I was a baby in Taiwan, and God sent them to get me, and I cried and cried. But then I stopped."

My "baby" is going to be 4 years old in 10 days! Where does the time go?

Splish, splash

2012-01-08T11:21:00.000-08:00

Lilli was helping her daddy with the dishes this morning (a momentous occasion, let me assure you- I might even want to write it down!) and somehow the topic turned to babies taking a bath in the kitchen sink. I told Lilli we have pictures of her taking a bath in our kitchen sink, when she was just a baby, and I promised to show her when they were done. Lilli loves looking at pictures of herself, especially as a baby.

Once I looked it up and showed it to her, it was so cute I had to post it, even though I'm pretty sure I posted it on this blog 3 years ago when I took it.

Even though I'm so proud of who Lilli has become, her very grown up almost 4 year old self, I always get a little wistful looking at old pictures like this. Motherhood was still so new then, every day brought a new experience. It also makes me long for our baby boy even more.

Help make more adoptions possible

2012-01-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

Please take a moment to sign this petition. For one year (2010, I believe) adoption expenses (up to $13,000) were refundable. From my friends who were able to do this, it was a lot of submitting receipts, waiting, submitting receipts again...but they did get a portion of their money back. Aside from 2010, there has been an adoption tax credit since 1997, much different than a refund, trust me. We were able to use the credit in 2009, for our 2008 adoption. Taxes are confusing to me, but the way our accountant explained it is that the credit helps offset any taxes you owe, and then what's left rolls over to the next year.

For most middle class families like us, a "typical" adoption that costs $20,000-$30,000 is something that has to be saved for, budgeted for, and isn't possible more than once, or twice at the most. Should these children with no homes remain in foster care or in an orphanage because a family willing and able to adopt a child can't afford it?

That was more of a rhetorical question, by the way.

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T10:32:00.000-08:00

So it's January 1. What better time to make some resolutions? I know, it's cliche. I could make a resolution any day of the year, I don't need to wait until January 1 to decide to make a change. But, I'm not the best about making life changes on any old day, so maybe making a bigger deal about it will help me stick to it. I'm not going to focus on previous New Year's resolution failures, such as: go back to school to get a nursing degree, read the Bible every day, recover from my Starbucks addiction, and eat more green vegetables.

Ahem. Focus!

This year's resolutions are centered around a theme: more, and less.

I want to be more active.

More organized.

More patient.

I want to give more to those less fortunate than I.

Less cynical.

To be less worried and anxious about the status of our second adoption, and instead, have more faith

And to borrow a verse from my brother Erik, a really cool guy (he's related to me, after all!) who now has his own blog: "‎He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less." John 3:30 (NLT)

What are your resolutions for 2012?

If only

2011-12-27T22:40:00.000-08:00

Maybe I should stop watching shows like A Baby Story and One Born Every Minute... I always end up crying, then thinking, often followed by more crying, sometimes followed by blogging. When my alarm goes off at 5:45 in the morning after I've stayed up until midnight watching this type of show, I often think, "You've gotta be kidding me." I don't do mornings well.

Tonight after watching One Born Every Minute, coupled with recent stressing about the future of our second adoption, I started thinking "If only."

If only I could get pregnant, give birth, I wouldn't need to adopt to become a mother.

I wouldn't have had to go through years of invasive ultrasounds, testing, pills and surgeries and pay handsomely for them, all for...nothing. I'd be one of those women who says to her husband one morning, "Darling, let's have a baby!" and is pregnant the next morning. One of those women who forgets their birth control once and gets pregnant.

I wouldn't need to invite a stranger into my home to judge me, my husband, my ability to house, clothe and feed a child properly, then pay that person thousands of dollars to put it down on paper.

I wouldn't need to travel across the world to bring home a baby.

I wouldn't have people asking me "Is she yours?"

Then again, if only I had given birth:

I wouldn't have this:

(Setting out cookies for Santa. Is she adorable, or what?)

Hello!

The "if only's" seem so insignificant when I think of it that way.

I wouldn't have the connection I now have with Taiwan, a place that has truly touched my heart.

I wouldn't have met all of the friends I've made through adoption.

I wouldn't have this incredible child, who is the light of my life. (Not that our biological child wouldn't have been great, but...you know, it's just different.)

I wouldn't be able to share our story with others who might have had a negative view of adoption, were ignorant about adoption, or who wanted to share their story with me! Just tonight a man appoached us at a restaurant and told us that his grandchildren are adopted from Africa. He brought them over to meet us and we chatted for a few minutes. I told him about our second adoption and he wished us luck.

This doesn't mean I don't stress and worry, and do a lot of daydreaming, about whether our dream of adopting a son will come true. I thought about him a lot over the Christmas weekend.

Will he look like a "Henry?" (our chosen name) Or will we pick another name once we see him?

Will he be darker skinned and lean like Lilli, or will he be a chubby Chinese baby will round cheeks and chunky legs? (I think Lilli had one fat roll, on each thigh, for about 2 weeks.)

Will he be here next year?

Will we have a referral next year?

Will Taiwan have shut down international adoptions by next Christmas?

One thing that I try to keep in mind is that I don't want to be obsessing about something that may never happen, and end up neglecting Lilli in the process. I've already started working more than I ever have since Lilli came home, and I want our time together to be special, not filled with my worry and anxiety. I also don't want those to be the traits she associates with me when she grows up.

I write all this down and feel like I'm doing pretty well! Positive attitude, looking forward to the future, spending more time in prayer and trusting in His plans more than my own.

Then I remember we've only been waiting 6 weeks.

We have friends who have been waiting for a year with no word. For a boy. From the same orphanage.

I've gotta give credit to those ladies. You are strong! Stronger than I am. (If we end up waiting that long) I hope I can be as strong as you. You are an inspiration.

OK, enough of that. I'll be posting some Christmas pictures soon. I'm starting to plan our Chinese New Year celebration and Lilli's 4th birthday next!

Blessings,
Chisms

Infertility resource

2011-12-26T19:07:00.000-08:00

During our struggle with infertility, I felt misunderstood by my friends, and often alone, wishing I could share with someone who understood.
I've thought several times about 2 of my great aunts who were also never able to have biological children, and wish that I'd been able to talk to them. One of them passed away when I was a freshman in college, and I didn't get to say goodbye to her, which stills grieves me. She was married but never had children. The other passed away while we were in the process of adopting Lilli, I think. She and my uncle adopted 2 boys in the 1960's.
I did come across an infertility support resource through Bethany Christian Services called Stepping Stones. It's a newsletter that comes either 4 or 6 times a year, but they also have a website . There are articles and poems written by women struggling with infertility, discussions about adoption, IVF, embryo donation, surrogacy, etc. I always found myself wishing the newlsetter was longer, because it seemed like the authors really knew how I was feeling, that they had been where I was.
Now I belong to several groups for support- mostly adoption support now, but even so, most of us in these groups have been through some, if not all, of the same struggles to become parents. It's really refreshing to be able to speak candidly about what I've been through or how I felt during those times.
We've continued to support this ministry since adopting Lilli. They also have a special section in the back where people can give a financial gift in honor of a child- whether a child lost, born, or adopted. We donated after we brought Lilli home, and they sent us an extra issue as a keepsake.
If you or someone you know is struggling with infertility, I highly recommend Stepping Stones.

Sharing our story

2011-12-22T16:06:00.000-08:00

I love being able to share our adoption story with people, and it's funny how the opportunities present themselves. I was just paying the furnace repairman and mentioned that we're trying to adopt again. He then shared with me how he was adopted, and how he and his wife had considered adoption when they were unable to conceive. He was telling me the homeopathic remedy they tried (green peppers!) and I said, "You know what? I don't even want to get pregnant anymore. I feel like adoption is the way we were meant to go, and I'm happy with that."

He told me that he met his birth mom when he was grown and that she is a good woman, and a good mother to her other children, but the people who raised him are his real parents. I got a little choked up (I always do, when talking about adoption or hearing other's stories) and told him how good it is to hear positive things from adult adoptees, because there are so many that are bitter and angry and hate their adoptive parents. He said that he could tell I'm a good mom (I don't that he could tell, but it's nice to hear anyway!)

Christmas memories

2011-12-22T00:38:00.001-08:00

This one is for posterity...

My mom surprised me by taking Lilli to see Santa today while I was at work.

I guess she was all excited on the way there and told Grammy she was going

to sit on his lap and tell Santa what she wants for Christmas (which lately, is a puppy.

Maybe it's not so bad that she didn't tell him!)

but then she clammed up and wouldn't do anything but cry.

Merry Christmas!

You know what?

2011-12-21T23:05:00.000-08:00

Infertility sucks, and that's a fact. I can only discuss it now, because I'm on the other side of it. Not that I'm not still the reluctant owner of a womb as barren as the Mojave Desert, but because I'm a mom (and darn proud of it!) and that was all I ever wanted.

I'm going to share my opinion here- it's my blog, thank you very much! I'm just getting my thoughts out there, not trying to start a war with anyone. I'm very non-confrontational, but I still have a voice, and it deserves to be heard.

I don't understand the people who try for years and years to have a biological child (I refuse to say "a child of their own." It's insulting.) and don't adopt, or even seem to consider it.
It can't be the money, because I know firsthand how expensive fertility treatments are.
It can't be the stress of the adoption process- again, fertility treatments aren't a walk in the park.
And giving birth? I'm just guessing here, but it doesn't look pleasant. I know a lot of women who are miserable for their entire pregnancy.
I'm guessing for most of us, having a child isn't about passing on the family name or fortune, or at least not to the degree that it was in the past. Jason is his father's only biological child, and is the last male Chism in his family. Jason's Grandma told me when she was near death that I needed to "hurry up and make a Chism baby- a boy- and carry on the family name. Jason's not in line to inherit the ranch, or anything else. Our baby boy, whoever he may be, will be a Chism. Period. Grandma probably wouldn't agree with that, but now that she's in heaven, I hope she sees it our way.
You're scared because you don't know what could be "wrong" with an adopted child?
You don't have a single guarantee about the issues of your bio child.
You know someone who has a friend who adopted and their child is "crazy" and on drugs? That term fits thousands of teenagers, and I'm sure the majority of them weren't adopted. What I'm saying is this: you're just as capable of screwing up a kid as the birth mother of an adopted child!
You want your child to look like you? To look like an "Asian doll?" That just seems 1) ridiculous and 2) superficial.

Don't get me wrong- I wanted to get pregnant, give birth to MY child. For over 7 years. But along the way, I realized: I just wanted to be a mother. To a human child, not our dog. (Although he was our baby for 5 years. I dressed him in various doggie clothes and costumes over the years. That's a different post. I have some great pictures.) I didn't care what sex the child was, the country he/she was from or the color of their skin. A parent is a person who raises a child, shared DNA or not. I was ready for adoption a couple years before Jason was, and I had to wait and pray for him to be with me and ready. Hey, that sounds familiar- like why we're just now pursuing a second adoption, when I've been ready for 3 years!

Again, I can probably only see the rosy side of our infertility and adoption journey because I'm on the other side of it, but now I think of it this way: Just about anyone can get pregnant and have a baby! God must have set me aside for something even more incredible and special- adoption. My child is special, because she was chosen for us, by God, Papa Ted and Mama Bev. Out of millions of orphans in the world (estimated at 143 million, FYI) and at least thousands of people in the world wanting to adopt, she was chosen for me. She is special!
(The ethnic group she belongs to is made up of about 500,000 worldwide. That's special!)
She's smart, sweet, beautiful, funny, and a perfect fit in our family. She couldn't be more precious to me, even if she was genetically "mine."

So when I wanted to have another child, I didn't want to try to get pregnant. EVER AGAIN. Heck, I say take "it" all out: it doesn't work, it's been nothing but pain and inconvenience, and I'd be happy to send it packing. I actually asked for a hysterectomy, but my doctor tried to convince me that was a little drastic and not necessary. (I haven't told
that story because it's seems a little too personal and um, private, but for the last 6 months, I've been trying to manage my pain from PCOS and endometriosis with an IUD. Unsuccessfully, I might add.) Ironic, huh? Birth control for the barren. Anyway, it has been a pain in the butt (well, pelvis, actually) for all 6 of those months. If it doesn't get better soon, the only real option is to remove it, and then we're back to square one.

This time, it's a lot easier to give it to God, to trust Him to find that child that is meant to be ours, and bring us together. We pray that child is in Taiwan, but we know, from previous experience, that our plans don't always mirror His. No matter, He will reveal it to us at the right time. Maybe our child is already in the world, maybe he (or she) has not even been conceived. Or maybe he is between the two: conceived but not born, and his birth mother is agonizing over the hardest decision she will ever make. I pray for this baby, this birth mother, and this adoptive mother (me!) who is often impatient and wants what I want, when I want it, which is now. Or 3 years ago.

I guess that's the end. My thoughts, already jumbled and usually half-forgotten by midnight when I have a chance to write, are really in a sorry state now that I've gone back to work. We're in the middle of a computer system change in our office and by the time I get home at night, I'm pretty much a zombie.

OK, one more thought: Whenever a holiday approaches, I wonder which waiting families might be getting "the call." Papa Ted and Mama Bev seem to call a lot of people with the news that they have a baby on holidays. I know several couples waiting right now, and I hope that one of them gets the best news of their life this weekend!

Blessings,
April

Ray of Hope

2011-12-13T09:07:00.000-08:00

Ray of Hope (click the link to read their newsletter) is a charitable organization very close to my heart. They are a crisis pregnancy center in Taiwan that counsels pregnant women, ministers to them, gives them a place to stay, educates them about adoption vs abortion, STD's, and abstinence. Can you find it in your heart to donate? They were given a building that needs to be renovated to use as a home for pregnant women in their care. I just donated a portion of my profits from Lil Bees, our adoption fundraiser. Click on the link to be taken to my Facebook page, where I make and sell accessories for little girls: hats, hair bows, barrettes, tutus, pettiskirts, and more!

Please continue to pray for God's will to become evident where Taiwan adoption is concerned. Things aren't sounding much better at this point. The laws that were passed could pretty much end international adoption for Taiwanese babies, which doesn't seem to be in the children's best interest, since typically, the Chinese and Taiwanese people don't adopt children. Which is why so many of the babies currently waiting for a home in Taiwan are adopted by people in other countries...like us! I'm trying to trust in the Lord and lean not on my own (inadequate) understanding. It's only been 2 months since we've been officially "waiting" to adopt again, and we've been told it's too soon for us to start paperwork because the waiting list is so long.

I've been back to work in my new 24 hour/week position for three weeks now, and I'm still trying to adjust. (I took the position to get better/cheaper health insurance for us, which will in turn help us save money for the adoption.) I'm a real night owl, and I have to force myself to go to bed at a decent hour so that I'm not exhausted at 5:45 when my alarm goes off. I need to get way more organized, so that we have a meal plan for dinners, especially on the nights when I get home at 6:00pm. On that note: Now accepting recipe suggestions, especially for quick-fix dinners and Crock-Pot meals! I'm also looking for a daily devotional that I could do in 10-15 minutes each day if you can suggest one.

This week, I've got to get 100 Christmas cards ready to go in the mail, 6 Lil Bees orders to finish and mail/deliver, finish decorating the house for Christmas (before it's over!), plus the usual grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, and cooking. In other words, I've gotta go!

In case I don't post again until after the holidays:

God grant you the light in Christmas, which is faith; the warmth of Christmas, which is love; the radiance of Christmas, which is purity; the righteousness of Christmas, which is justice; the belief in Christmas, which is truth; the all of Christmas, which is Christ. - Wilda English

So little time!

2011-11-30T22:58:00.000-08:00

That seems to be the theme of our days around here lately. I haven't even had time to post here, so let me try to catch you up:

WE'RE ADOPTING AGAIN!!!

I've been waiting SO long to be able to say that! Praise God that Jason has decided he is ready to add another member to our family.

We are now officially in the process of- waiting. We had hoped to start our home study right away, but we've been told the wait is too long for us to start paperwork yet. So, we are trusting in the Lord to bring us the child He has chosen for us, in His time. That's fairly easy to say right now. It's only been about 3 weeks since we emailed the orphanage, and we've been so busy I haven't had much time to worry about the wait time. Check back with me in a year and see how patient I'm being!

In the meantime, I've gone back to work (at the clinic I just left 3 months ago!) in order to get health benefits, which has been a big financial issue in the past. Which means that Lilli is at the babysitter's 3 days a week, which is taking some getting used to, for both of us.

For the time being, I'm still running Lil Bees, my little business, from home. It's officially an adoption fundraiser now, so feel free to check it out, refer a friend, or both!

Jason and I both had our birthdays this month, then last week, Thanksgiving and my parent's 40th wedding anniversary celebration. Christmas is right around the corner, and all the hustle and bustle that come with it. Only 1 month after Christmas is Lilli's birthday, and then things might settle down a bit!

In case I don't have enough time to update again before then- Merry Christmas!

One of those days

2011-11-02T14:16:00.000-07:00

I was trying to get Lilli ready for mom's group at church this morning. (She gets to play with a bunch of other kids and has a great time.) I laid out a shirt, hoodie, jeans, socks and boots for her and asked her to get dressed. She said she wanted to wear a pretty dress. (Have I mentioned her penchant for pretty dresses? I think it was a few posts back.) I told her that it was 45 degrees outside and windy, so she would wear what I had picked out. She proceeded to throw herself down on the floor, kicking and screaming.

I told her she could go to her room, and when she was dressed in the clothes I had picked out, she could come out. She came out nearly 2 hours later. But she was wearing the clothes! (She also came out 2 times before that- once wearing a sundress and a dozen hairbows, and once in her footed pj's with a tutu, asking if she could have some candy now.)

Needless to say, we missed mom's group. I was disappointed, to say the least. But I stood my ground. Instead I got started on cleaning my house and preparing for my friend's visit from Texas next week.

Then I had an iced coffee and a brownie for lunch. It's been one of those days!

Our little Halloween cutie!

2011-11-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

Lilli was Princess Jasmine for Halloween this year. It was pretty close to the cutest thing I've ever seen.

OK, it was the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Why, TLC?

2011-10-20T17:00:00.001-07:00

As I typed this, I realized that these thoughts of mine sound...not very nice.

Let's just preface this by saying, this is just a series of late-night thoughts that popped into my head because of what was on TV. It was a moment of bitterness, and a little sarcasm. Those of you who know me personally won't be surprised by that. I don't always think or feel this way. That said, take this post with a grain of salt.

Last night around midnight, I was washing dishes and listening to the TV in the next room. Why am I doing dishes at midnight, you say? Because that's when I have a chance to do them! Anyway, TLC was on, and the show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" came on, and for the next half hour all kinds of thoughts about pregnancy ran through my mind. It SEEMS like you would at least know that something was up over the course of 10 months. But I don't know, never been there. And at the end of each "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" episode, everyone is blissfully happy, in awe of how much they love the baby they didn't know they were carrying, who is perfect and healthy and beautiful, even though the unaware mother kept drinking and smoking during her pregnancy. The girl and her boyfriend have since gotten married and can't wait to spend the rest of their lives together as a perfect little family. Or the girl isn't afraid of being a single parent to twins, because of course, the one night stand who got her pregnant is nowhere to be found, but no worries, her mother will take them in and raise them while teen-Mom gets back to partying.

Then I wondered, "Why doesn't TLC make a show called "I Didn't Know I Couldn't Get Pregnant?" about the woman who gets married and thinks that next comes the baby in a baby carriage, but instead gets years of tests, pills, injections, surgeries, trying to, and failing, to get pregnant.

Because no one wants to watch that show, let alone live it.

Your Hands - JJ Heller

2011-10-13T14:42:00.000-07:00

Never ceases to make me cry. Or to make me realize how true it is.

I (try to) choose joy

2011-10-12T12:11:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to keep this phrase in my head. It is a quote from a book we're reading in our mom's group at church. It means choosing to focus on the positive, not the negative things in life. Not hard to figure out the meaning, but considerably harder to apply to my life and stick to it.

I've never been a "glass half full" kind of girl. On a bad day, I'd probably say there is no glass! An old joke with Jason is that I'm melancholy and infinitely sad. (From an album title- do you recognize it?)

It's not that I'm not thankful, or that I don't realize how blessed I am. I thank God daily for our home, Jason's job, our family, and 99 times out of 100 I feel blessed when I look at Lilli. The other 1 of 100 times would be when she's throwing a temper tantrum because she doesn't want to wear jeans, or when she smears toothpaste all over her face and hair, etc. Lilli has recently become VERY concerned with what she wears and it was cute the first couple times, but now it's more aggravating when we are trying to get out of the house and she refuses to wear jeans (I HATE jeans, Mommy!) or red, or pants in general, because all she wants to wear these days is "a pretty dress and flip-flops.

Oh, sweet girl. Here's the thing: It's pretty much going to be cold and raining and most likely windy for the next 9 months. Warm clothes are your friend. She also insists that she's sweaty, in just about everything but her underwear.

Getting back to the subject- oh yes, choosing joy!

In all of the personality tests, love language quizzes, etc. I'm the melancholy one: the analytical, overthinking, negative one who has a tendency to hang on to my insecurities, my worries and my fears, and I tend to get overpowered by them.

Some of this, I'm sure, could be attributed to spiritual immaturity. I'll admit that for someone who grew up in the church, I haven't been the...best Christian, I guess. I know my stuff- I went to Bible college for 2 years. Didn't finish, like a lot of things in my life. But knowing things and living them are quite different, especially when it comes to faith. My faith, how much I pray (and the things I pray for), how I act and how I think before I act are things that have improved greatly in the last couple years. But Christianity is not something that I will ever perfect this side of eternity, so while I'm glad for my progress, I realize I have so much room for improvement.

So part of me wants to attribute my difficulty choosing joy to my melancholy nature, and part of me wants to blame it on Satan. Maybe it's a combination of the two. I think about my son (the one I may never get to have) every day, several times. I start to despair. I feel like Lilli needs a sibling, feel like she would be a better, more rounded person for it. I want to experience having a boy. I think Jason would really love to have a son to do those father-son things like Boy Scouts, car stuff, hunting, etc. (He says he can do all of that with Lilli, but...not the same.) I start to feel overwhelmed with sadness and just want to lie down in bed for hours and cry. I don't, but I feel like I could.

I know alot of this boils down to a control issue. I'm trying to be in control of my life, not unlike when I was trying to get pregnant. Of course I'm not in control. Whether you call it God, karma, the universe, luck- you know it's not all up to you. God is either telling me no, or wait. I don't like either of those. Jason doesn't put his foot down much in our relationship, so it's really hard for me to accept when he is so adamantly against something that I want so badly.

So there you have it. Those are some of my weaknesses, in all of their ugliness and shame. I might regret posting this for all of the world to see. Not that the whole world reads this little blog, far from it, but you know what I mean, right? I've gotta own this to overcome it.

Laughs with Lilli

2011-10-12T12:08:00.000-07:00

My mom asked to talk to Lilli on the phone the other night. Lilli's side of the conversation went like this:

"Hi Grammy. I'm wearing jammies. And a crown, because I'm a princess. A naughty princess. Bye."

One more reason...

2011-10-03T23:32:00.000-07:00

I've always loved Starbucks, or Fivebucks, or St. Arbuck's, as some call it. We've had a longstanding relationship, especially when I was working full time. I stopped there 4 or 5 times a week, but now, I rarely go. This is mostly due to financial and health reasons, not that their coffee isn't delicious and addicting and probably laced with at least a trace of crack.

Ok, so my love of that particular company grew the other day when I stumbled upon a product of theirs I previously had no knowledge of.

A little background: I was searching for Taiwan aboriginal items: crafts made by the tribespeople, dolls in traditional dress, really anything. These things, even information, isn't plentiful on the internet, especially in English. From the sounds of it, the ways of Taiwan's aborigines are fading as time goes on. I really want L to be able to read and research where she comes from when she is older.

One of the results brought up by my search was an article written by a Seattle newspaper about the company's partnership with World Vision, a Christian relief, development and advocacy organization working with children, families and communities to overcome poverty and injustice. Apparently Starbucks worked with World Vision in Taiwan at least from 1999 to 2005. They put out special items in their Taiwan stores for a limited time each year, and proceeds benefited the indigent people of Taiwan (aborigines.) One statistic that was really shocking to me: In 2006, the average monthly income for a family living in Taipei, Taiwan was $2000. For an indigent family living in the mountains and typically with more children? $125 a month.

So naturally, I moseyed on down to my favorite auction site, eBay, to search for some of these items. I found a set of little cups (like demitasse mugs or ceramic shot glasses) from 2006 for a very reasonable price and I bought them! They came a few days ago, and they are so cute!

These little guys are now on display in our china cabinet, right next to the cloisonne tea set we bought at the Taiwan Handicraft Promotion Center . They ship worldwide!

5 away!

2011-09-20T23:25:00.000-07:00

I just realized I'm only 5 posts away from 100! It's taken me over 3 years, but time flies when you're as busy as we seem to always be.

Today, one of my parenting nightmares came true...We were at the grocery store, and Lilli pointed to an overweight older woman (at least in her 60's) and says, "Does that lady have a baby in her belly?" I told her no and that it wasn't polite to say something like that, and yet she said it at least 2 more times! The woman wasn't far from us and I was praying she couldn't hear her, so I grabbed our groceries and walked out as quickly as I could.
I tried to explain to her that old women can't have babies in their bellies, only young women can. "Like you, mommy?" she asked. If only she knew! So, being the glutton for punishment that I am, I asked her if I look like I have a baby in my belly. Thank goodness she said no! So, on our way through the parking lot, she's saying, "Does that lady have a baby in her belly? No, she's old. Does that lady have a baby in her belly? No. Does that lady? "
Somehow I always seem to botch these learning opportunities with Lilli. My explanation seems logical and a concept a 3 year old could grasp, but it never turns out the way I imagined it would.

I just finished watching the newest film version of Jane Eyre, and when it was over I was thinking how it is such a classic romance and has a happy ending. Then I thought- that's pretty sad when your opinion of a romance with a happy ending involves abused orphans, men forced into marrying lunatics, devastating house fires, suicide and the leading man ends up blind." You say tomato, I say- I've always been more of the melancholy type.

Lilli is going to be Princess Jasmine for Halloween, and our dog Jasper is going to be Raja, Jasmine's tiger. I am SO excited. I might get an unhealthy amount of pleasure from dressing her up. Sometimes I just want to say: I waited a really long time to have this child! Let me dress her up and treat her like a princess!

Fall is on its way to the Northwest, and even though I'll be (a little) sad to see the sunny weather go, I'm excited for the next season. Autumn is definitely my favorite time of the year around here. Turning leaves, apple and pear harvest time, drives through the Columbia River Gorge and the Fruit Loop. It's a stretch of highway in Hood River that has 30 or 40 farms selling their wares- from apples, pears, and pumpkins to antiques and wine. We always get many pounds of Honeycrisp apples (haven't tried one? Go. Now!) and tons of pictures. Now, some people say the fall colors are even more spectacular in New England, but since I've never been there, I can't and won't agree. I also love my fall scented candles and decorations for the house, Halloween costumes, and yes, the rain. When it starts, I'm not really dwelling on the fact that it will last for 9 months. That must be a survival mechanism; otherwise, I wouldn't stay sane!

To finish up today's re-cap of happenings and random thoughts, I'll leave you with this:

Ok, first, let me preface by saying: My brain is like a train. One that often gets de-railed and goes hurtling down the tracks, threatening to mow down anyone in its path. Alright, maybe not the last part.

Anyway, I was reading a fashion blog, reviewing the red carpet looks from the Emmys. (That's the only reason I would watch the Emmys anyway- for the clothes.)

I guess the celebrities with unnaturally smooth foreheads and seemingly no facial muscles made me think of Botox, which made me think of my one and only foray into the world of paralyzing the muscles in my head and neck.

It was...2004, I guess. I'd been suffering from frequent and insufferable migraines for 5 years. Suffering through agonizing pain, nausea, sensitivity to sounds and smells, and had been on probably around 20 different medications, none of which made a noticeable difference. (In the end, I was tried on I believe 36 medications. Sheesh.) So my neurologist suggested I try Botox. I forked over many, many hundreds of dollars to have it done, since of course my insurance wouldn't cover it. (Did I mention none of our fertility-related expenses were ever covered either. A friend of a friend had her IVF paid for by her insurance! Mental note: Move to Rhode Island if you want IVF and can't afford it!)
Anyway, I took a long lunch break to drive downtown and get 28 injections of Botox in my forehead, temples and neck. I went back to work, looking like I had a bunch of red pimples on my face, felt okay for the rest of the day, and kept looking in the mirror to see if I could still move my eyebrows. When I woke up at 2am, I found that I couldn't hold my head up straight. Nope. The only way I could hold my head was completely down, chin resting on my chest, or all the way back, staring up at the ceiling. Good times!
The doctor said I was one of the 2% of patients who had an adverse reaction to the Botox, and the pain was caused by inflammation in my neck from the needle tracks. I missed 3 days of work and was on painkillers through the weekend before I was able to go back to work. Or, go back to work and be able to look patients in the eye.

Well, that was a fun walk down memory lane! I'm glad I can look back on it now and laugh. At the time- not so much.

We're contemplating going camping this weekend, although I'm praying we'll stay home and Jason will put up the cedar shakes on our house that I've been waiting 3 years for! I'll let you know next time.

Random Thursday

2011-09-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

While drinking my coffee this morning, I thought, "Yes. Good. More."

When I picked up our dog from the groomer's today and forked over $75 (that's seventy five dollars approximately every 60 days), I thought, "Our next dog will be short-haired."

As I calculated the price per square inch of tulle from two suppliers, I thought, "Hmm. You were right, Mrs. Hill. I will need math in my everyday life." Algebra, though. Not the pre-calculus I suffered through!

When I was running through the backyard trying to catch a chicken (not even my own!) I thought-
Nope. I really didn't think anything. I could only concentrate on all of the spiders and their webs I was seeing, and walking through.

As I scanned my recorded shows tonight and didn't see Project Runway, I thought, "Why, Tim Gunn? How could you do this to me? Or should I blame Dish Network? Either way- I want my Project Runway!"

Then I was watching Project Runway (which came on later and I recorded it then) I was thinking, "Olivier. Or is it really just Oliver? He's from Ohio! Where does that accent come from? It's so strange. He is strange. His designs are kind of blah. He really perplexes me. I love Bert!"

Most recently, I was cutting tulle to make a Halloween tutu, and I thought, "This is going to be soooo cute!" If you haven't checked out my business yet, click on the button for Lil Bees on the right of this page and you're there!

That's all for random Thursday!

Gotcha-versary!

2011-09-05T20:19:00.000-07:00

I don't typically use the term "Gotcha," mainly because I read an article by a bitter adoptee that likened the term to trapping a helpless animal and keeping it caged and oppressed for the rest of its life.

Anyway- 3 years ago today, we came home with Lilli. She became an American citizen, and we got down to the business of being a family.

Things haven't been the same since!

PSA

2011-09-05T11:24:00.000-07:00

PSA? Not Prostate Specific Aantigen, or Photographic Society of America. No, today PSA stands for Public Service Announcement, and today's is brought to you by... me!

I'll post a link that a few of my friends have posted on FB today. I'm not all riled up about it, but I agree with it, and it's what got me thinking about giving this PSA.

http://cgwardphotography.blogspot.com/2011/08/regarding-facebook-breast-cancer.html?spref=fb

Now where did I put my soapbox?

Ahem.

The gist of this particular fad on FB is that by posting something ridiculous insinuating that you're pregnant, somehow raises breast cancer awareness. No? I don't get it either. The author of the blog post above points out that for people who are trying to get pregnant, that can be hurtful to find out it was all a "joke." Not to mention that many breast cancer survivors (the people you're so concerned about) are now sterile and unable to have children because of the treatments they endured in order to survive breast cancer. I'm not offended by it, but I thought it was silly and I didn't participate. (Nor did I participate last year when it was "raise breast cancer awareness by posting something sexually suggestive as your status on FB!" week.)

I think we could all use a lesson in keeping our mouths shut, thinking before speaking, and considering the audience before we make a "joke."

So here's the bottom line:

One of the WORST possible things you could say to a woman struggling with infertility is "You're just stressing yourself out- as soon as you relax and stop obsessing about it, you'll get pregnant!"

Oh. Really? Is that all it takes? Whew! And here I was thinking it was my PCOS, endometriosis, and diabetes that was keeping me from getting pregnant. Silly me. (I can't count the number of times I was told that - by "friends," family and people I barely knew. I wanted to kick most of them in the teeth.)

If you don't know why your friend can't get pregnant, stop to consider this: Maybe there is a medical reason. Maybe she hasn't shared it with you because it's too painful, too personal, or maybe it's because you say boneheaded things such as the above. Not to mention that insinuating that the reason a woman can't get pregnant is all in her head. Assuming you want to keep this friend, that is.

Another quick way to offend someone who is adopting: "As soon as you adopt, you'll get pregnant!" I wish I had known how to respond to that comment while we were in the process of adopting. I usually just shook my head and walked away, or smiled and nodded- then walked away.

Let me just pause for a moment to say: I'm sure most of these people are well intentioned and really aren't trying to hurt your feelings. That said, they're still ignorant, and hopefully would appreciate being set straight about how the things they say can wound people they care about who have been through so much suffering and pain already. And for the record, not everyone who adopts will get pregnant later, that's ridiculous. Like I said, some women will never get pregnant, even if they adopt a dozen kids. I have over 60 friends, just on FB, who have adopted, and I can only think of 6 who have gotten pregnant since.

Moving on. I wish I could have told those people that telling me I'll get pregnant as soon as I adopt is hurtful on more than one level. It's like saying that adoption is a consolation prize, and not as good as the "real" thing. I wish I could have said, "How dare you infer that my daughter is not as good as a biological child would be?"

On the contrary. Lilli is just as good, if not better, than a biological child would have been. Yes, I have my moments when I wonder what our biological child would have looked like. If they would have been analytical and theatrical like me (surprise!) or calm and steadfast like their dad.

Then I'm thankful when I remember that carrying a child would have been dangerous for me, and consider that both Jason and I have strong family history of hereditary diseases that we could have potentially passed on to a child. I smile when I remember that we are a family by design, not biology. Lilli was chosen for us, and we for her, by God who does all things for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28.) I wonder at the joy that has come from so much heartache, so many tears.

Please consider your words, friends. They can lift someone up, or knock them down.

Helping friends

2011-08-30T11:20:00.001-07:00

Those of you who are Facebook friends with me may have seen my posts over the last few weeks in regards to a friend whose 2 year old son passed away unexpectedly. He was adopted from the same orphanage in Tawian as Lilli. Those of us who have adopted from The Home of God's Love are a close group, and we've been trying to help this family in any way possible.

Would you consider helping as well? There are two things you can do:

1. The family traveled to Taiwan to have a memorial service for their sweet little boy, and to spread his ashes. Airfare to Taiwan is expensive as it is, but at the last minute is a huge expense for this family who works in the ministry, and I can't imagine what a hardship this is for them, and adds to their grief and sorrow. We are taking up a collection to be sent to them to help out with these costs, and will present them with the money at a gathering for families from the orphanage next month.

2. We have signed up over 100 families to send cards and small gifts, things to cheer up their 4 year old daughter, also adopted from The Home of God's Love, who is missing her brother terribly and having a hard time processing all of this. People have been assigned for every week through Christmas, but they might decide to continue sending things into the next year.

If you would like to help, please email me at verbeach@msn.com, or comment with your email and I will give you the address to send donations to and/or the person to contact in regards to sending cards to their little girl.

Random- it's what I do

2011-07-30T00:10:00.000-07:00

Is it weird that I wear my Grandma's nightgown? Is it weird(er) because she passed away 4 years ago? There's something about this old-lady style, threadbare cotton nightgown that I love. It reminds me of spending the night with her and my grandpa when I was younger. She would make treats we never got at our house, like a toasted Eggo with fresh peach slices and whipped cream on top. Really, try it. It's surprisingly good! My grandma was always hot, and had a big ol' air conditioner for their tiny house. (Seriously tiny- like 900 sq. ft.) My poor grandpa would get cold, and he would sit in his chair wearing a flannel shirt, a cardigan and a lap blanket. At night, she would open all the doors and have 4 or 5 fans on. The neighborhood would be quiet except for the sound of the crickets, maybe a frog, and you could hear the train whistle blow as it went through the town. Actually, I can still hear the train whistles on that same track from the house we live in now, late at night, if it's very quiet.
Wow, that was meant to be a line or two about the ratty old nightgown I'm wearing that freaks Jason out a little.

Lilli has been very attached to her blankie and baby for a loooong time. She's had them both since a few months after we brought her home. I've mentioned before how I hadto pry them away from her to wash them, and once she figured out where they were, she would lay on the floor in front of the dryer and cry until they were done. I feel ill just thinking of the germs those things have to have on them from being taken everywhere with her. So of course, she has to hold them both up to her face while she sucks her thumb. Which nauseates me further.
She's stopped taking them everywhere in the last few months, like she would leave them in the car when we went into a store, then she started leaving them at home altogether, although usually only if we would be home within an hour or two. And she always has to have them and bedtime. We've had a few late night searches for them because she couldn't (or wouldn't) go to sleep without them.
Sooo, this Monday morning, she woke up earlier than usual crying because she couldn't find baby. (I'll have to post a picture of the poor thing. She's been loved half to death. She's lost most of her stuffing and has been re-stuffed with other fillers, most recently an old cut up washcloth. Her left arm is a good inch shorter than the right, which is saying something when your arm is only 3 inches long to begin with. Her right foot has black stitching all around the sole which doesn't really match with the light pink of the rest of her, but this mommy doesn't sew, and it was the only thread I could find late at night when she couldn't sleep because baby's foot was dangling. I digress.) She was ok without it at the babysitter's all day. I found it Monday night but didn't let her know it, and quickly stuffed it in my hope chest. Surprisingly she hasn't asked for it at all! She's told a couple people that she can't find it, but she's not crying or whining when she says it. I say let her stay in that hope chest forever, and I'm relieved that it was so easy to get it away from her. Maybe we'll try "losing" blankie in a few months...
I get a little defensive when people suggest that she's too old to have a baby and a blankie that she's so attached to. To that, I say- she's 3, not 10. Those people most likely don't have an adopted child who didn't have anything or anyone to be attached to for the first 7 months of her life either, so I should realize that they don't understand issues that adopted children have that biological children might not. Now I'm usually the first one to say that some people use the fact that a child was adopted to explain away their every quirk, behavior, or insecurity. But is the baby really stunting her emotional development? To put it simply, NO. I just deleted several sentences explaining how bonded she is to us and how she's very well adjusted, but you know what? I don't need to explain it! So there! I told you I get a little defensive. Don't mess with my little girl!

Ok, calming down.

There's been a lot of deep thinking going on around here, as you can probably see from my multiple posts this week. Alright, not all of it has been deep! It's all being done by me, usually when I'm alone and everyone else is asleep. A good amount of prayers, and tears, as well. Prayers for comfort, for peace, for understanding- on my part and Jason's.

I guess I'd better head to bed- we're going to be up early for breakfast (supposed to be brioche french toast with fresh blueberry compote, but the brioche didn't get baked yet, so we'll have that Sunday morning), maybe the farmer's market, grocery shopping, and preparing our brisket and potato salad for a BBQ we're having with our Bible study group Sunday afternoon. Yummy weekend ahead!

An array of thoughts from the last 48 hours

2011-07-29T00:04:00.000-07:00

Project Runway is back- thank you!

Dear Starbucks,
The whole point of ordering a double blended caramel mocha frappuccino is the caramel. Many a time have I said I'd just have a cup of whipped cream and caramel sauce if they'd sell it to me that way. My frappe today had neither caramel syrup nor caramel sauce. That was a travesty.

Some moms might sing the same old nursery songs to their baby at night, but me, I like to mix it up, keep it interesting. Last night Lilli actually fell asleep while I was singing an Italian aria to her! Tonight it was a Ni Hao Kai-Lan song and Lonesome Polecat from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. That one didn't put her to sleep...

Something you wouldn't know if you've never met me- I bite my nails. My parents put some nasty tasting liquid on them that was supposed to make stop- didn't work. My dad gave me $100 when I was in 6th grade to quit. I spent the money at Disneyland and then resumed biting them. My dad made me pay him back. : ( I bit them until I was 25 or so and stopped until recently. I do it without even realizing it, usually when I'm stressed. My poor fingers are bleeding and sore right now from all the recent stress in my life!

I realied the other day that Lilli doesn't know what a commercial is! Most of the stuff we watch on TV is either DVD, DVR, or Netflix, so there aren't any commercials. She wanted to watch Clifford the other day and it just happened to be about to start. She asked what show it was and I said it's a commercial, she said, "But what IS it Mommy?" That's fine with me if she doesn't see a lot of ads. I don't want her to be the kids that has to have a toy or a certain treat every time we go somewhere.

I'm a big reader (not that I have much time for it anymore) and I like seeing books I've read turned into movies. Unless they change key elements- that annoys me to no end. There are 3 movies I'm looking forward to: Mao's Last Dancer (still reading this one), Sarah's Key, and The Help.

I use parentheses a lot.

I didn't have to look up the spelling of parentheses. I was in the spelling bee in school from 3rd grade through 12th and I went to district, or state a few times. I misspelled failure when I was 8. Ouch!

Whew!

2011-07-27T22:37:00.000-07:00

These last few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions and tough decisions. It's only now that I feel like I have time to sit back and process it all.

I gave my notice at my job today, the first job I had after we adopted Lilli. It's a part-time/on call job, but I've always had feelings of guilt over taking Lilli to a babysitter.

Which leads to another thing: I'm going to donate my profits from Lil Bees thus far to the orphanage that took care of Lilli until we brought her home. After that, it's going to become my "job," the income that I contribute to the family. I hope that people will still support me through Lil Bees once it's just a business, and not an adoption fundraiser. One of the things I'd like to do is start a new blog/webpage just for Lil Bees. But, I've got a whole list of things I want to do- I need to figure out where to start!

I'll still donate to her oprhanage and the crisis pregnancy center that worked with her birth mother, among others, like Stepping Stones, a Christian infertility support group. It's been really fulfilling to donate items to adoption auctions and to give to charity. Speaking of, I've got 2 items in an upcoming auction at Living in Taradise next week! Tara and her husband are adopting a precious baby girl from The Home of God's Love, and they'll be traveling soon! Please stop by her blog, take a look, and consider bidding on one (or more!) of the great items that have been donated to help them cover their adoption costs.

Unless something major changes (and I'm still praying!) we will not be adopting again. I've been in denial, because it's hard to let go of a dream, admit defeat, try to move on and heal. I haven't had the time or the emotional strength to face this, but now is the time. This has been another stressor in my daily life, something that has made it hard for me to focus on other things, like my job.

Now, I'm exhausted- physically and emotionally. More later!

Randomness

2011-06-12T22:57:00.000-07:00

I don't do pictures on my blog much anymore, because Faceb**k makes it so easy and fast! Case in point- I started this 2 hours ago. So they're a little out of order (I only have so much time, people!) but these are just some random shots and stories from the last few months.

Pig jammies and Minnie Mouse princess ears (that are actually for her Build a Bear) to watch the royal wedding. She's ALL about weddings, these days.

Lilli and Brown Baby Betty before and after their bath.

Daddy and Lilli took a trip to the beauty shop (and ended up looking like clowns)

We were able to plant our garden, finally! It has been such a cold, wet year here (but then, Oregon is usually colder and wetter than the rest of the country, so I shouldn't be surprised.) As we speak in the second week of June it was only about 70 today and it rained too.

We've got some great compost courtesy of the chickens, and I think the garden is going to do really well this year, assuming we get some sunshine. We've got blueberries, raspberries, Walla Walla sweet onions, green onions, garlic, carrots, white and yellow corn, thai basil, sage, yukon gold potatoes, cabbage, cauliflower, romaine and iceberg lettuce, sunflowers, rhubarb, and black prince and early girl tomatoes!

I've been wanting to compare pictures of our fresh eggs vs. a store bought egg for a while, but I haven't bought eggs in so long I just did it! I was making a potato salad for my cousin's wedding reception and fresh eggs don't work well for hard boiled eggs...little known fact. The older the egg, the more air inside the shell, which makes it easier for the egg to separate from the shell. Fresh hard boiled eggs are a nightmare to peel! Anyway, the light in the pictures isn't great, but the yolk of the store bought egg is such a pale yellow, almost cream color. The white is very thin and the yolk breaks very easily. The yolk of our fresh egg is bright orange and firm, and white is very thick. Go backyard chickens! Although, Blanche has decided that she wants to be a mom, and she has stopped laying eggs and sits in the nesting box all day on top of the other girls' eggs, puffing out her feathers and pecking at anyone who gets near her. Sigh. Jason says she needs to get with the program or she's going to end up on the dinner table!

So my youngest cousin Amy got married yesterday... Everything was beautiful- the bride, the ceremony, even the weather for the outdoor reception! An outdoor wedding in Oregon is risky at any time of year.
Amy getting married made me feel old! She's 10 years younger than me, so it seems impossible that she's even old enough to get married! When she was a baby, people sometimes asked if she was mine! Hello, I was 12.

Lilli sat on cousin Lisa's lap to get a better view. She was really good, except for whe shen said "Huh?" really loud, right before they kissed. Then she asked everybody if she could have cake, repeatedly.

This one is from today. I didn't have the heart to wake her, and she looked so darn cute I had to get a picture. Notice the scribbles on her bed rail? She did that during the night last week.

Lilli has had a cold (or allergies- I'm not quite sure which) for the last few days, snotty nose and cough and general crankiness.

Last night, she was making noise in her room well after midnight, opening her door, turning on her light and only God knows what else. I went in to tell her to go to sleep and she sat up, put one hand on her hip, and said in a very stern voice, "Are you watching TV out there Mommy?" I said maybe and she said (in the same voice) "Mommy, what are you doing watching TV without me?" We're having some sleep issues, to say the least.

This morning I asked her to use her fork to eat her scrambled eggs, and she said, "I can't Mommy. They're tricky."

A few minutes later, she came back into the kitchen wearing her princess dress, tights and gold sparkly ballet shoes, wearing several hair bows and holding a spray of artificial flowers from my craft table. She said, "When I get married, I hold onto my Dady's arm and then we're married." I asked her who she was going to marry and she rolled her eyes and said, "Daddy!" Then she walked across the kitchen back and forth, very slowly and solemnly for about 5 minutes while Jason and I sang "dum dum da dum, dum dum da dum...."

100 fans for our fundraiser!

2011-05-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

Lil Bees is my fundraiser/business that I've started to raise money for orphans, whether for our 2nd adoption, or for The Home of God's Love, the orphanage where Lilli spent the first 7 months of her life, that runs 100% on donations.

I have 99 fans on my Facebook page, so in honor of whoever my 100th fan will be, I'm doing a giveaway! The 100th fan will win a flower clip and headband of their choice, and of they were referred by another fan, that person wins a flower and headband too! So, even if you're already a fan, spread the word to your friends and you could still win something! (Or just become a fan and spread the word anyway to show your support!)

Click on the Lil Bees button on the right to be directed to the fan page. *You DO NOT have to be on Facebook to see my products.* You can order through the blog page, click on this link or email me directly at verbeach@msn.com. I also LOVE making custom orders, so if you'd like something but don't see it listed, send me a message and I'll create it for you!

Thoughts on Mother's Day

2011-05-05T23:56:00.000-07:00

A few quotes/sayings about adoption:

I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.

1 Samuel 1:27

And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. Matthew 18:5

Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.

Isaiah 43: 5

"Your mummy, just not from my tummy."

"Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother."

I don't look like you on the outside, but I look inside, and in our hearts, we are the same.

-Carrie Kitze, I Don't Have Your Eyes

Every child deserves a home of his own.

-Harry Holt

For finding your mother, there's one certain test. You must look for the creature who loves you the best.

- David Kirk, Little Miss Spider

Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart - but in it.

-Fleur Conkling Heylinger

Natural Child: Any child who is not artificial.

Real Parent: Any parent who is not imaginary.

Your Own Child: Any child who is not someone else's child.

Adopted Child: A natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.

-Rita Laws, PhD

LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD
Once there were two women who never knew each other

One you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one

One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it

The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name

One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears

One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do

The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.

Now, which of these two women,

Are you the product of?

Both, my darling, Both.

Just two different types of love.

- Unknown

*This is not about adoption, but it reminds me that children, above all, belong to God. My grandmother keeps this portion of a poem that she had clipped out of a newspaper and tucked it into a frame holding a picture of her son, who died at age 7 of leukemia. Until I became a mother, I don't think I could fathom the absolute devastation of losing a child.*

I'll lend you for a little while a child of mine, He said

For you to care for while he loves, and mourn for when he's dead

It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,

but will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?

I had thought of a good one while I was typing all of these, and now I can't remember it for the life of me.

I think it's expected that I would think of Lilli's birth mother as Mother's Day approaches, but in fact, I think of her often. Tonight, thinking about this woman almost took my breath away. I cried. I prayed. I wanted to go into Lilli's room and just hold her. Then I decided to write.

I wonder how she is. How often she thinks of the baby she gave up. Never having been pregnant, I'm only guessing here, but I don't see how a woman could not think of a child she gave birth to, gave life to, every day. I think about how easy it would have been for her to have an abortion. *A statistic comes to mind: Taiwan has twice as many abortions as live births every year. But why not this child? I belive it's because God had chosen her to be mine. I think about her carrying this child in her womb for 9 months and then choosing to give her a different life. I won't say better, but definitely different.

Here, she has 2 parents instead of 1. She won't be judged by the color of her skin and her nationality, as she would be in Taiwan. She will have opportunities she wouldn't have had otherwise. She was prayed for, planned for, wanted for so long. She is cherished. Not a day goes by that I don't look at her and feel incredibly blessed and humbled at the thought that God entrusted me with this precious life.

I sent a picture to the orphanage at Christmas and asked the director to forward it to her, if he thought it was appropriate. I want her to know: she is beautiful, smart, funny, sweet, happy. She is the very meaning of her Mandarin name, her middle name: Hsi-Le, Joy. I try so hard to be the mother she deserves. I always find myself lacking. I lose my temper. I get frustrated. I pray that God won't let me mess this up.

These are some of the first pictures we received of Lilli. It breaks my heart that she was essentially without a mother until she came home with us at 7 months old. Don't misunderstand me; I am so very thankful for Shr Mama, ShowHwa, and all of the helpers who took care of her those 7 months, but it's not the same one-on-one care that a mother would give her newborn child.

~4 days old~

~7 days old~

~10 days old, with Elizabeth, a volunteer~

She was sitting on my lap today and I kissed her head and told her, "You're my best girl. I love you so much." She patted my cheek and said, "You're my best mama. I love you so much."

Do you have any favorite adoption-related quotes or sayings?

Wow. So, here it is, 2:00am. It wasn't even midnight when I started this. Now I'm thinking about my headache and all the things I have to do first thing in the morning tomorrow so we can go to the beach for Mother's Day!

Off to bed.

Happy Mother's Day to all- whether your children are grown, not yet born, not yet home, and anywhere in between.

So grown up!

2011-05-04T01:21:00.000-07:00

I took Lilli to have her 3 year pictures taken today. She's only 3 and 3 months, so I'm getting better- she was 2 years and 8 months for her 2 year pictures.

I made both of her hair bows, as well as the bows on her flip flops. You can see more on my Lil Bees page (see the link to the right.)

The last 2 are probably my favorite. I think they capture her spunky personality. Ironically, I didn't order either of those pictures at the time, but I probably will now.

She did pretty well, considering she's had a cough, and that she had to wait a LONG time for the ice cream I promised her for being good!

Happy anniversary to us!

2011-04-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

10 years ago today, I married my best friend. We've had some rough times along with the good ones, but we're in this for the long haul. These last few years have been the best in my opinion- my infertility is no longer an issue, and Lilli has blessed us beyond our expectations. I have a feeling it's only going to get better!

Adoption auction!

2011-04-03T00:51:00.000-07:00

That's who I was forgetting! My friend Tiffany is having an adoption auction on her blog this week, you can click here to check it out. She's shown some items that will be up for auction, and there's a variety of things, including a hat from Lil Bees! Go on- get something for yourself or as a gift for a loved one, and support her efforts to bring their baby girl home! Go. NOW!

Check out the big brain on Brad!

2011-04-03T00:21:00.000-07:00

*For those of you who caught that reference, congratulations. The rest of you, go look it up. I feel all smart because I figured out how to link directly to my Lil Bees fundraising page from this page! The best part is that if you have a blog and feel like helping me attract more potential customers, you too can have this button on your blog! While we're on the subject, check out some of my fellow adoptive mommy friends who are also fundraising for a future adoption: Kate, of The Adopt Shoppe- she makes awesome adoption themed necklaces, bracelets, and keychains. Danielle, of Mommy's Making Stuff- she makes all kinds of stuff! Hair clips for little girls, super cute appliqued T-shirts and tote bags, diaper changing pads and nursing covers. I feel like I'm forgetting someone... it'll come to me (especially if it's you- send me a message and remind me!) Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive!

OK, I'm listening!

2011-04-01T09:21:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I started to hum random songs while I was straightening my hair (an long and arduous process for someone like me with very thick and naturally curly hair!) I didn't even realize what I was humming until I paid some attention, and it was the old hymn "Have Thine Own Way, Lord." This is a really appropriate attitude for me to have while I wait for Him to reveal his plan for our family to me.

Bad blogger (again!)

2011-03-17T23:21:00.000-07:00

I have so much to write about and so many pictures to post, and yet- no time to do it! My fundraiser has really picked up speed and I'm spending most of my free time working on cute hair bows and accessories. Check out the Lil Bees page here, and tell your friends! We just got back from a trip to southern California last week. We went to Disneyland (Lilli's first trip!) and had a blast! We also got to meet up with 3 other families with children from the same orphanage as Lilli. That was incredible, and meant so much to me. Our 10 year anniversary is coming up in less than a month! It's hard to believe it's been that long...or that I'm this old! I just started antibiotics tonight for a nasty sinus infection (did I mention we ALL got sick on our California trip?) so I should be feeling better in a few days. Then I promise I'll start posting some pictures. You won't believe how cute my baby is. I get to see her every day and I can hardly believe it myself!

SALE, SALE, SALE- THIS WEEKEND ONLY!

2011-02-18T17:05:00.001-08:00

In my head I'm hearing one of those cheesy commercials where the announcer says: "Super- mega- blowout- clearance- inventory reduction- moving-foreclosure- bankruptcy- sale this Saturday, SATurday, SATURDAY!" or the PBR/ MMA/ WWE/ monster truck/ tractor pull commercials where the announcer says "We'll sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge!" Aaaahhhh, America. You rock.

Where was I?

Oh yeah! Sales! My adoption fundraising effort is really taking off! Currently, I have just about enough orders to keep me busy without being TOO busy to finish them all. One of my items is even being featured in an blog auction for another adoption fundraiser! So in honor of President's Day (or really just because it's the closest holiday, and what President didn't love little girls hairbows, hats, and accessories?) Lil Bees is having a sale! Buy any of my adorable hats and get any artificial flower (which can be worn clipped to the hat or by itself) for 50% off! All orders must be placed by this Sunday, February 20 by 6pm, PST. Message me if you have any questions. Have a great weekend!

Julia Child I am not...

2011-02-14T10:52:00.000-08:00

But I do love to cook, and I'm pretty good at it. Last night as I was making a 2 page grocery list and dreading spending 2 hours at the grocery store, I felt convicted to save our family money at the grocery store, as well as eat healthier and try new things. That's always seemed like a hard change to make. Fresh foods are more expensive than pre-packaged, and Jason and Lilli aren't exactly adventurous eaters.

I sat down with my recipes and a few cookbooks and came up with 6 dinners for this week that are healthy (or healthier) and not all our old stand-bys. I went to a couple coupon websites and printed out a few coupons for things that were on our list.

We did our shopping, and I tried to pick some cheaper brands (I don't mind generics necessarily, but some things I'll always buy the name brand) and bought several things in bulk, which usually saves money. When we got up to the register, I gave the checker my coupons and she told me they only accept manufacturer's coupons (which mine were) cut out from the newspaper (which mine weren't.) Apparently, so many people brought in fake coupons that they stopped taking printed out coupons altogether. Really, people- coupon scamming? Thanks for ruining it for everyone else!

The store we shop at for most of our groceries doesn't have coupons in the paper, and we don't usually get the Sunday paper for the coupons inside. It seems like the coupons are always for things that we don't use (like air fresheners and shoe inserts) or unhealthy things (break-n-bake cookies, fruit roll-ups, etc.)

Do you have any money saving tips you can share?

By the way, here is our dinner menu for the week (something I've never been good at- I'm horribly disorganized, much like my writing!)

Monday: chicken cordon bleu, rice pilaf and asparagus. Jason's request for Valentine's Day. Neither of us really like Swiss cheese, so we're using Gouda instead. I also bought chicken thighs instead of breasts because it's cheaper. This may prove to have been a mistake, we'll see. Lilli and I are going to make sugar cookies for Jason today, shaped like hearts and decorated with red and white frosting.

Tuesday: Korean beef with vegetable stir-fry and soba noodles.

Wednesday: We might be going out, but in case we aren't- enchilada casserole and salad.

Thursday: Patty melts and sweet potato fries.

Friday: Thai chicken with vegetables and rice. I had to sneak the fish sauce into the cart when Jason wasn't looking- he would have freaked out!

*Disclaimer: I know all of these things aren't exactly healthy, but on those things we're working on portion control.

What are some of your favorite meals? Do you have any tips for eating healthier?

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

On a side note, 3 years ago today, we got the call from THOGL that there was an 18 day old baby girl named Hsi-Le who "is yours if you want her." Um, hello! Yeah, we wanted her! I love you so much baby girl! We're so blessed to have been chosen to be your parents!

This is one of the earliest pictures we have of her, taken 2/2/2008, when she was 6 days old!

My baby can read!

2011-01-30T23:06:00.000-08:00

Well, not really. But I just saw that it's playing on one of the channels that runs infomercials 24/7, so it's stuck in my head.
Lilli does love to read books with me, though. As I mentioned in the post about my Grandma, she was a big reader, so is my mom, and so am I. I want to pass the love of reading on to Lilli as well. We read at least 3 books a day at bedtime, and often throughout the day too. I already took out 20 or so books during a recent toy purge (partly for fundraising garage sale/consignment purposes, partly out of necessity) and she still has almost 100!
Some of her favorites are: Put Me In the Zoo by Robert Lopshire, her Kai-Lan book with the buttons that make noises, Babies by Gyo Fujikawa (an adorable book), and a Clifford book. She used to call him Clippert and it always made me laugh. Lately she's been getting him confused with Pluto for some strange reason. Oh yeah- we're going to Disneyland and even though she's never been, she knows where we're going and talks about it almost every day! It's going to be so much fun!
But I digress (as usual.)

Some of my favorite children's books from my childhood:
Sylvester and the Magic Pebble
The Secret Language (that's for elementary aged kids)
Corduroy
One Kitten for Kim
anything by Richard Scarry (the worm Lowly who wears one boot is my fave)
The Frances books (Best Friends for Frances and A Sister for Frances among others)
anything illustrated by Eloise Wilkin- little kids with cherubic faces and stories with a kind of 50's "living the dream" kind of vibe, love them! I am trying to get one that is apparently out of print that I loved and remember so well from my childhood called We Help Mommy.
The Mr. Men and Little Miss books- we have a set of about 25 and I love them all!
Most of these I have either kept since I was young or have bought for Lilli and I to enjoy together.

Some of my favorites this time around:
Love You Forever- really a horrible book, haven't ever been able to read it without crying.
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

Some adoption specific books:
I Don't Have Your Eyes- for transracial families. The book talks about how the child doesn't have his/her parent's eyes, nose, ears, feet, etc. but the last page says "We may not look alike on the outside, but I look inside, and in our hearts we are the same." That line chokes me up every time!
A Blessing from Above
A Mother for Choco
Over the Moon

and some that I don't really care for:
I Love You Like Crazy Cakes- if anyone reads this blog and loves this book, please don't be offended.
On the Night You Were Born- see the above.

What are some of your favorites?

Fundraising

2011-01-27T17:04:00.000-08:00

I am selling a bunch of stuff on eBay, starting in about an hour. My eBay seller ID is verbeach, you can find all of my items that way. All proceeds go into savings for our adoption. Starbucks, Disney, Levi's, and American Girl items to name a few, plus a T-shirt perfect for the adoptive mama with kids from Asia, or one in the process. Check them out!

New Year's goals

2011-01-26T00:23:00.001-08:00

I won't say resolutions, because I never stick to those.

The big things:

Pray more
Think first, speak later
Move more
Eat less (I started 2011 almost 40lbs lighter than when I started 2010, so that's a good feeling! The good news is I haven't been at this weight since high school. The bad news: I was fat in high school!)
Small stuff- don't sweat it
Enjoy the every day moments with Lilli
Be a better wife (We're attending a Bible study for married couples- first one was tonight!)
Keep a cleaner house
Continue to seek God's will in our lives regarding our second adoption
Be better at managing our finances

The smaller things:

Be better about taking off my makeup at night (shameful!)
Clean out my car more often
Send more thank you notes
Visit my granparents more often
Relax! (That one might need to be on the other list)
Stop staying up too late at night and regretting it in the morning

This could probably go on forever, so I'll cut it off here. Speaking of the above, why am I blogging for the 3rd time in 2 days at 1:00am? Lilli and I both have haircuts in the morning and have to get an early start to our day. We were going to meet Jason for lunch, something we don't get to do very often, but we decided not to because Jason has a busy day tomorrow and we can't really afford it anyway. Hey, eating less (or less calories than if we were eating out) and saving money- 2 things on my list!

My name is April...

2011-01-25T23:52:00.000-08:00

and I'm a complete and utter klutz (among other things.) I can't cook without spilling something or dropping something, which is bad since I'm the only one who cooks in this house! I trip a lot, bang my shins on tables, hit my head on cupboard doors, burn myself with my flat iron, etc. I blame some of this on my brain condition. I know, "brain condition." I get a lot of "Oh, that explains things!" comments from my friends. But it's true. Read up on Arnold-Chiari malformation here . Along the Chiari lines, I can't dance, I can't walk in a straight line, in church when we're standing for a prayer, I have to hold onto a chair or I'll tip over. I have bouts of nystagmus, I've suffered from (at times debilitating) migraines, sometimes I have trouble speaking, and the list could go on. But enough about that!

The point of bringing up my klutziness is to tell you what happened to me poor right hand today. I was out in my yard breaking off some dead stalks from my sedum plants, which apparently have little spikes on them, and one of those little spikes drove itself up into the pad of my right thumb. So that hurt like the dickens (what ARE dickens, anyway?) and it hurt every time I touched it or touched something with it. Then I was making my Portuguese chicken and rice dish for dinner, which I finish in the oven in a covered Dutch oven. I took it out, took the lid off and checked to see if it was done. It needed a few more minutes, so I picked up the lid with first 3 fingers of my bare right hand and it took me a second to register that it was hot. Not just hot, but HOT, having just come out of the 400 degree oven. Yikes! My fingers are still smarting from that, hours later. Lilli kissed them better for me, so I'll be ok.

Bedtime

2011-01-25T00:13:00.000-08:00

Lilli and I have a bedtime routine, like a lot of parents and their kids, I'm sure. She has to get in her jammies, brush her teeth, say goodnight to Daddy and the dog, turn on her Twilight Turtle (which I have to say I love- a little turtle with stars cut out of his shell and a light inside that projects the stars and moon on the ceiling), and make sure everything she needs for the night is in her bed:
Bob the tiger,
2 Kai-Lan dolls,
1 giraffe,
1 Winnie The Pooh,
1 Tigger,
2 baby dolls (Old Baby and Baby Sister)
another different baby doll and her bottle,
a miniature chipmunk on a keychain whom I lately have to hug and kiss before I leave the room, Webkinz chicken,
Webkinz frog,
Build a Bear dog named Bubbles,
nameless random doll from Old Navy,
blankie,
bumblebee pillow pet,
sometimes a binkie (paci) that she doesn't even use,
sometimes an ice pack, when she's "sick",
the blanket that I have to drape over the top of her bed that she calls her tent,
and I think that might be it. Good thing she's not that big or there wouldn't be room left for her in there!
After everything is present and accounted for, we sit in the rocking chair for books and songs. The books vary from night to night, but we usually sing the same songs. Jesus Loves Me; Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star; and You Are My Sunshine for starters. When I was little, my mom used to sing me a song called My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean. Does anyone else know this one? I made up a second verse for Lilli that I was kind of proud of:
My Lilli was over the ocean
My Lilli was over the sea
My Lilli was over in Taiwan
Til God sent her Daddy and me

She really likes that part and always says "That's me! I was in Taiwan!"
We usually end with the song Baby Mine, most widely known from the movie Dumbo. When I first started singing it to her, I could barely make it through without crying. This was probably 6 or 8 months ago, and Lilli took to calling it "The Mommy Cries Song." Which always makes me laugh, even if I'm in the middle of crying through the song!

My baby girl is going to be 3 years old this week! I can't believe how fast the time goes. I know it sounds cliche, but it really does seem like just yesterday that we brought her home from The Home of God's Love. As much as we enjoy watching her grow and learn new things, it makes me wish I could go back to when she was a baby and try to slow down time and enjoy every minute with her.
I also thought by now that we would be a little closer to getting a little brother for her. We are at the same point we were almost 18 months ago- on the waiting list, but not ready to start our paperwork to get us matched with a baby. Jason is the one who still isn't ready- if it were up to me, we'd have Henry home already! (That's the name we've had picked out for years.)
So, I'm still praying, trying to get things in order financially, trying to be more organized, de-clutter the house, making my Lil Bees hair bows. I'm not sure if I'm doing these things to prove to Jason that we make it with 2 children, or to keep myself from thinking about it 24 hours a day (not working!), or a little of both.
We are going to Disneyland this spring- Lilli's first trip! The other exciting thing about the trip is that we will get to meet 3 other families from The Home of God's Love whom I know, but have never met in person. 2 of their children were at The Home with Lilli, and we helped take care of 1 of them when we were in Taiwan to pick up Lilli. Also, Jason and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary this April 14th!

I'll be posting pictures of Lilli's birthday party soon!

Happy birthday Grandma!

2011-01-02T21:18:00.000-08:00

*Forgive my rambling paragraphs, run on sentences, and dangling participles...When I'm trying to write and publish a post in a short period of time, this is what you get. My train of thought is usually de-railed! So when I sat down to write this "short post" it was 3 hours ago! Now I have to get up in 5 hours to go to training at the hospital for 8 hours, and I'm wondering why I volunteered to do that, because now I've been crying and my head hurts and....
Like I said, train of thought, de-railed.

My sister and I threw together a last minute birthday celebration today for our Grandma Nila. Bad granddaughters, you might think. Leaving the planning of Grandma's party until the last minute! Imagine how that makes her feel!

Well, let's back up a minute. Today would have been Grandma Nila's 76th birthday. But Grandma Nila in June 2007. We just loved her so much, we decided to have a party to celebrate her life and what a great grandma (and mom and great grandma) she was to us all.

There were about 15 of us, mostly her grandkids and our spouses and kids. We had pizza, played her favorite card game, Kings in the corner, and reminisced about Grandma.

Grandma Nila was known for so many things, one of the biggest was her love of pizza. Specifically, black olive and tomato pizza from Pizza Hut. When I was growing up, you could find Grandma and Grandpa at the local pizza parlour (Pietro's, until they closed, then Pizza Hut- never quite the same) every Sunday after church. And most of the family came, every Sunday. I'm not joking...literally, their 3 kids and their spouses, and 8 grandchildren. My great grandparents even came. We all lived in the Portland area, all went to the same church, and usually had lunch together afterwards. I thought everyone's family was like ours, back when I was 8. Now I know that few families are as close as ours, physically and emotionally speaking. I was blessed to grow up in such a tight knit family as ours!

Grandma always drank caffeine free Pepsi. "Clear full of ice" she would say. She wasn't a gourmet cook, but we still make some of her recipes today: stuffed celery (sounds a little weird, but it's the best!) potato casserole, cream of potato soup, pumpkin chiffon pie...

Grandma ran the nursery at our church for many years. She had always wanted to have lots of children, but had to stop after 3. So many kids at church called her Grandma. She loved to rock babies, sing songs, and always had the best crafts and games to keep us occupied:

Shaking baby food jars filled with whipping cream until it turned into butter, which we would spread on crackers and have for a snack.
"Sewing" with a big plastic needle threaded with yarn, poking the needle through a styrofoam plate.
Making home made play dough and trying to wait until it cooled down to play with it.
Standing on a step stool over a jar with a narrow mouth, trying to drop clothes pins into the jar.

Every year on New Years Eve, she would have a party for all of her grandchildren, so that our parents could go to a party. Those parties were the best! She would make us all kinds of finger foods and snacks, let us drink sparkling cider out of plastic champagne glasses (that always made me feel grown up.) She would spread a blanket out on the family room floor, turn off lights and light a bunch of candles. Then we would watch movies and try to stay awake to watch the ball drop at midnight.

Grandma made Christmas every little kids dream, by buying probably 20 presents for each grandchild. The whole family, 25 of us or so, would open presents together on Christmas morning, and we would wake up to a ring of presents under the tree about 3 feet deep. My grandparents didn't have a lot of money, and had many Christmases as children where they got one small present if they were lucky. (My grandpa used to tell us how one Christmas he was so excited because he got an orange and an emtpy spool of thread that he could carve into something, like a top.) So she would buy us a bunch of little gifts and wrap them all individually, like a pair of socks, a bottle of bubble bath, a keychain, etc. She would wait until everyone else was done to open her presents, and you could see the joy on her face as she watched us open our gifts from her.

Grandma met Grandpa in the summer of the year she was 14. She dropped out of high school at to marry him; she was 15, he as 22. (She would say: "People always thought I was getting married because I was pregnant. Can you believe it? Of course I wasn't pregnant!") 15 year olds couldn't get married in Oregon in 1950, so they drove up to Washington and great grandma had to give her consent. My mother was born in 1952, my uncle Rick in 1956, and my aunt Ruth in 1961. They bought their little house in Fairview in the late 1950's and stayed there until Grandma couldn't stay there alone anymore, in 2006.

Grandma faced some tough times in her life: her father was murdered, she took care of her mother and sister as they died, then her beloved husband of 52 years, my Grandpa, as he suffered from dementia and died on Christmas day, 2002. She was by his side about 23/7 for the 4 months that he was in the nursing home. We had to make her leave to go home to take a shower or go get clean clothes. She made sure his food was hot, his sheets were clean, that his nurses came on time with his medications.

After he died, Grandma was never the same. Her health worsened, she had to go on dialysis, moved into an assisted living home, then a nursing home, before she died Jun 15, 2007. We were all able to see her in the few days before she died, except for one of my cousins who was trying to get a flight home and missed seeing her by a few hours. She hung on just long enough to see her youngest grandchild graduate from high school, the week before she died. She was there for the weddings of 7 of her eight grandchildren, and got to meet 5 of her great grandchildren. I've often thought how much she would have loved to meet Lilli, as well as Tucker (my grandparents' last name) and Ava, her other great grandchildren born after she passed away.

Sometimes, as I drive past the neighborhood where she lived with my Grandpa for 50 years, for a split second I'll think "I should stop by and see Grandma" before I remember she's gone. She and I kept a list of homophones (words that sound the same but are spelled differently) and I used to call her whenever I thought of another one. (I'm a word nerd. Don't judge.) I inherited my love of reading from my mom, who got it from her. She was a voracious reader, although mostly of romance novels!

I have so many memories of Grandma; I can't think of one that is negative. She was the epitome of what a Grandma should be. Her home and her arms were always open. While I'm sad that Lilli didn't get to meet her, I can't wait to tell her about her great grandma who would have loved her so much! And I know that Grandma and Grandpa are with their Savior in heaven, and that we will see them again one day.

Grandma and Grandpa on their wedding day, September 2, 1950

Wedding photo

With my mom, 1952

My great grandparents (my Grandma's parents) Grandpa, mo, Uncle Rick and Aunt Ruth ca.. 1965?

Grandma, Grandpa, mom, Uncle Rick and Aunt Ruth ca.1970?

Grandma holding my cousin Sara and me, ca. 1980

Grandma, me and cousin Sara again, 1980

Grandma and Grandpa in Hawaii, 1990. Their kids saved up and sent them on that trip as a 40th anniversary present. I think that was the farthest away from home that either of them ever went.

All of the Tucker women (plus my great grandma), ca. 1991-92

Grandma and Grandpa at cousin Lisa's high school graduation, ca. 2002?

New Years day traditional lunch with the family, ca. 2003?

Grandma with Emmalie and Natalie at Emmalie's princess birthday party, ca. 2004

Grandma and Grandpa's 50th wedding anniversary party, 2000

Grandma and Grandpa with me and my parents at my wedding. (Jason was around there somewhere...)

Grandma at my Aunt Ruth's wedding to Paul, 2002?

Grandma with Aunt Ruth and cousins Andrew and Amy, at Amy's high school graduation, June 2007. She died a few days later.

Happy birthday Natalie!

2010-12-22T10:09:00.000-08:00

My niece Natalie, my mini-me, is not so "mini" anymore, and turned 10 years old yesterday! I took her older sister to get her ears pierced last year when she turned 10, so I got to do it this year for Natalie.

A little nervous...

Deep breath!

Lilli looked on with morbid fascination.

All done, looking so pretty and grown up!

Then the whole family went to a new frozen yogurt place by our house. My mom is a frozen yogurt fiend, and had already been to check it out. They had 6 or 8 flavors of yogurt ( I got chocolate and cake batter- yum!) and they have a huge selection of toppings. It's self serve, and you pay by the ounce at the end. Lilli and I got mango and strawberry boba, mochi balls, fresh fruit, graham cracker crumbs, and M&Ms. A diverse selection of toppings for sure! If you're in the area, it's called Pico Berry, and it's in the Wood Village Fred Meyer complex. It's run by a really nice family, and we like to promote local small businesses, so check them out!

Still laughing with Lilli

2010-12-22T10:03:00.000-08:00

Lilli loves to play with electronics. She has a calculator that she carries around and calls it her "puter." She especiallyt likes to play with our cell phones, and has at least 4 or 5 play phones. This morning as she picked up my phone, she told me she wanted to call Jesus. I told her that we couldn't call Jesus on the phone, because Jesus is in heaven and doesn't have a phone. But when we pray, that's talking to Jesus, and He is always with us, and will always hear us. I got a little choked up thinking about how true that is, even in the simplest words that a 2 year old can understand. Then Lilli got me laughing again when she said, "And Caillou (annoying cartoon kid on PBS) is in Kevin with Jesus and God, right Mommy?"

Laughs with Lilli

2010-12-09T23:42:00.000-08:00

Tonight, while I was driving...

Lilli: Mommy, can I eat this?

Me: What?

Lilli: This, Mommy!
Me: I can't see it. What is it?

Lilli: It's a peanut. Can I eat it?

Me: Where did you find it?

Lilli: In my seat.

Me: Um, I guess.
Lilli: It's chewy, Mommy.
Me: Well, it's old, baby.
Lilli: Mommy? It's salty.
Me: Okay.
Lilli: Mommy? I'm a peanut. Don't eat me!

Laughs with Lilli

2010-11-25T10:48:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking that I should write down all of the funny things that Lilli says, but since I would promptly lose a piece of paper if I were to actually write them down, I'll just type them here instead.

Last night, she started crying in her bed, so Jason went to check on her. She told him she was scared and wanted to go in the living room. (There was no one in the living room and it was pitch dark in there.) Jason told her she needed to go back to bed in her own room. She was crying again a few minutes later, so I went in. I asked her what was wrong, and she said "I'm sick. I need some medicine." (Is it unusual that she LIKES her Tylenol? I remember hating the stuff when I was a kid.) I asked her where it hurt. Silence. I asked her "What hurts?" She said "My feelings hurt."

We were pulling out of the gas station the other night and she said "How about I can drive now, okay?"

When Jason was 5, his older sister worked at a 7-11 and his mom was saying that she would be afraid to work there late at night in case she got robbed. Jason said "When I get big, I wouldn't be afraid of working at the 7-11, because I would just hide when the robbers robbed in."

Lil Bees

2010-11-13T23:55:00.000-08:00

I have moved all of my fundraising efforts to my Facebook page, at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Gresham-OR/Lil-Bees/103955249672020?v=info or just search Lil Bees on Facebook.com. I haven't had time to keep up 2 different pages! Thanks!

Lil B's

2010-10-23T16:03:00.000-07:00

For those of you who may be visiting my page for the first time, welcome and thanks for looking! I was able to bring some of my designs at the last minute to a women's conference at Mountainview Christian Church today. Sold some barrettes and bows and gave out business cards, and got some great feedback and interest in my bows! The pictures on this page are only a sample of what I have and what I can make specially for you. Any size, shape, color or combination of colors, theme, sports team- you name it! Here are my first Christmas/holiday clips in just a few of the different ribbons I have.

Just a reminder: The Oregon Ducks are ranked #1..... and I've been making up a bunch of Ducks bows and barrettes in all styles and sizes- for the tiniest fan, her mom, or any age in between!

(And yes, I make Beavers bows too!)

This one is korker style with a black bottle cap center with a Beavers logo sticker glued on top.

The bows I've been making most recently are korkers- piles of tightly curled ribbons. I have to admit, I've never bought them or been a huge fan, but since I've made some specifically to match some of Lilli's outfits and seen them on her, I think they're adorable! She wears the smaller size two at a time, one for each pigtail. They can be made slightly bigger, or a jumbo size as well. They can be made a little bit smaller, but if the ribbons are too short, you don't get as much of a curl. I can make them with less ribbons, however, for a less "poofy" korker. The ones I've made so far have 30 ribbons a piece! For those of you who (like me) love Gymb*ree's clothes, I can get ribbon made to match Gymb*ree's lines, and custom make bows to match your little one's outfits. If you've seen Gymb*ree's korkers, they only use 6 or 8 pieces of ribbon and are pretty flat. At only $4 a piece, or $6 a pair for mine, that's a great deal for your money!

Again, please let me know if you'd like something in a style, size, or color you don't see here. I'm happy to make up an example for you, with no obligation to buy it if you don't like it. Thanks for looking and supporting our fundraising efforts!

Fundraising

2010-10-10T22:04:00.000-07:00

So this is my creative outlet that I've been working on... All of the proceeds will

go towards our second adoption, or in case that doesn't happen, to one of the

charitable organizations in Taiwan that we worked with during our first adoption.

Most designs can be made on a French barrette, or a single or double-pronged

alligator clip. They can all be made to your specifications: size, color, pattern, theme,

etc. I'm happy to do custom orders as well! If you don't see something here that you like,

let me know what you're thinking and I will make up an example for you.

Right now most of my designs are for fall, Halloween, or fall

sports themes. I'm working on some more Christmas and winter

designs now and will be posting pictures soon!

I will throw in a free clippie (regularly $2) of your choice on your first order,

and every little one will get a free clippie for her birthday!

I can deliver if you are in the Portland/Vancouver area, or I will ship anywhere in the USA for free. I'll ship internationally too, for a few dollars shipping.

I'll mail out your order within a week, or let me know if you need it rushed.

Thanks for looking, and please pass this on to your friends!

Hello Kitty button with pink and white polka-dotted krinkle ribbon, on a lined clippie. $4 each

Winter designs: sparkly penguin with silver and black krinkle ribbon, snowflake button flower. $4 each

Button flower bows. These can be made to look more like a real flower with the green "leaf " loop, or this style can be made with any color/pattern of ribbon and any button or center. $4 each

Hot pink clippie with sparkly polka dots, argyle clippe, light pink clippie with rhinestones. $2 each or $3 per pair.

This ribbon was marked as Halloween, but I think purple and black can be worn

year round! Purple and black polka dotted clippe with bow and button,

or bow with black band. $2 each or $3 per pair.

Go Ducks! Loopy bow (which can have as many or as few loops as you want) with

Oregon bottle cap center, and Oregon bottle cap with krinkle ribbon. $4 each

More Oregon Ducks colors. The smaller ones are great for little babies, or I

use two of them for Lilli's pigtails. The bigger one is the perfect size for over a ponytail.

I can make bows to match your favorite team's colors, unless you're a Beavs fan!

(Okay, we might be able to work something out, but don't tell my husband!)

2 layer bow on double pronged, lined alligator clip. Brown satin

and gauzy pink ribbon. $2 each or $3 per pair.

Halloween clippies from left to right: black ribbon with orange polka dots and black

glittery button; orange ribbon with plaid bow and black button; orange with black button;

orange ribbon with black polka dots, bow and black band; skulls with black glittery button.

All $2 each or $3 per pair.

Halloween button flower style bow. Black ribbon, "Pumpkin Patch" ribbon,

pumpkin button center, $4

Black ghost ribbon with purple and orange "Boo" ribbon and black glittery button;

black ghost ribbon, orange ribbon and black glittery button.

4" diameter, $4 each.

Fall bow with mutli-colored ribbon and leaf button. $4

Orange and gold metallic ribbon with plaid bow and leaf button center. $4

Fall plaid clippie with pumpkin button. $2 each or $3 per pair.

Fall loopy bows, shown sideways here, best for over a ponytail. On the left: "Pumpkin Patch" ribbon, yellow and orange gingham check ribbon. On the right: skull ribbon, black and orange polka-dotted ribbon. Approx 4" long, $4

Our little black belt...

2010-09-17T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well, not yet. Technically, she wasn't even big enough to keep a white belt on! Check out how well Lilli did at her second tae kwon do class:

Tae kwon do!

2010-09-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

Today was Lilli's first Tae kwon do class. I wasn't sure it would be a good fit for her, but the instructor said at this age they mainly focus on paying attention and following instructions.

It was like music to my ears, so we signed up!

She was given the smallest dobok (tae kwon do outfit) they had: a size 00000.

I still had to roll up the pant legs three times, and the sleeves twice!

I may have had to bribe her to get her to go out on the floor without me.

This is the first class we've done where the parents don't have to participate,

which for me, means more time to take pictures.

One of the first exercises was jumping over these noodles on the floor, and waiting

until it was your turn. This is not easy for a 2 or 3 year old! Look at my little jumper all the way off the ground...

Hitting the target and "blocking" the hit. Or waving at me.

Kicking the target.

Practicing their hi-ya! The instructor commented that Lilli "has such a strong voice!"
Really? I hadn't noticed.

She did pretty well at putting her ball in the right colored cup, as instructed. Until

she picked up the cup and ball and threw them, and then spun around in circles until she

fell down. And then shrieked.

In this exercise, the kids were supposed to run down the red line, touch the floor at

the end, and then run back. Lilli was the only one to stay in her own lane.

A time for reflection.

Just kidding!

Admiring her arabesque in the mirror.

Lilli and proud mommy after the lesson

Showing off her new moves

Growing up so fast...

2010-08-08T22:24:00.000-07:00

I'm sure every parent feels like their child is the most beautiful, smartest, most talented. But mine really is. Ha!

It seems like she learns something new every day, which I love to see. Unfortunately, all of these things mean she's getting bigger and isn't a baby anymore, which I don't love at all.

I was commenting to Jason the other day that even though she's been talking for a long time, she's starting to say things completely on her own, without any prompting from us, or she'll start a conversation all by herself.

Just a few weeks ago, she sang a song all by herself for the first time that I was around to hear. It was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She now sings Jesus Loves Me, the ABC song, Rockabye Baby (she sings rockabye baby, on the tree sock), her night night book song (set to Brahm's Lullaby) and a few others that I can't think of right now.

She can count to 15,

She knows her colors, even pink and purple,

She is potty trained during the day (she does still wear a pull up at nap and night time, but we're working on it)

She knows her shapes, or at least square, triangle, heart, star, circle

She recognizes the letters "L" and "I."

She has picked up from me "it was an accident" and now says it, even when it's not. Example: she stepped on the dog's head, and when I told her to say sorry, she went and knelt down on the floor, wrapped her arms around him and said "I'm sorry Jappas. I didn't mean it. It was an accident."

She has also taken to telling us "I just woke up" whenever it's time for a nap or bedtime, even though it's not true. She told me last week "I just woke up at 4:30!" Not true, but cute!

She'll congratulate Jason or I on using the bathroom, saying "Good job Mommy! You go potty on the toilet like a big girl!"

She thought I was crying when my eyes were watering, and she very tenderly put her hand on my cheek and said "Don't cry, baby. It's okay." Then she wiped my eyes and gave me a hug. It was so sweet, I wished I could have recorded it!

She'll read her books to herself, very animatedly sometimes! I got a video of her reading "Hand, Hand, Finger, Thumb" and "Put Me In the Zoo" to herself. She got out her drum, was waving her hands and wiggling her fingers, and was saying her favorite line from the zoo book- "Out you go! Out! Out with you!"

I love that we still have "firsts" with her- first trip to the library, the dentist, the fair.

Love that little girl!

Blessings,
Chisms

Family Vacation 2010

2010-08-02T13:57:00.000-07:00

The annual Neilson family vacation has come and gone, once again! As (un)luck would have it, my camera was either dead or having issues most of the time, so I didn't get as many pictures as I would have liked.

Wednesday we went to the Deschutes County Fair. It was Lilli's first time at a fair/carnival. Unfortunately, she was only tall enough to ride two rides! She was heartbroken- she cried on the sidelines while her cousins got to go on rides. She loved the ones she did get to go on, the canoe ride and some kind of fire truck/bus thing.

She could just barely see over the door!

The girl operating the ride asked us if Lilli is adopted, and after we told her our story, she shared with us that she and her husband are unable to have children, and asked us some questions about the process. I am always happy to share with people. I feel like it can be an opportunity to get someone thinking about adoption, give them an example of a happy and positive adoption , and even to witness to them about how God has brought us together and made us a family.

I was worried she wouldn't want to ride this one alone, but she loved it!

Lilli managed to stay awake until 4pm before she finally crashed and had to take a nap. I think we had waaaaayyyyy too much sugar- here Lilli grabbed Jason's slushy and slurped it down when we weren't looking.

We were excited to find some Ni Hao, Kai-Lan souvenirs...

I won the carnival game where you fill up the balloon by shooting water in the clown's mouth and got a teddy bear for Lilli, and Emmalie won a stuffed alien playing skee-ball.

I was really impressed by my niece Natalie who was brave enough to go on some of the scarier rides with me.

The Elliotts (minus my sister) on the bumper cars.

My nieces wanted to go on this one because it looked similar to one they had ridden at a local amusement park. It was pretty intense!

My mom, sister and nieces rode the swing ride. This is about the only one my mom will ride. When I went on it later, I was more scared than on all of the other ones! I felt like I was sitting in a flimsy lawn chair, about to go hurtling through the air and land in the corn dog stall!

We had to get pictures with Smokey the Bear. It is extreme fire danger season in central Oregon right now, and a couple of fires were started by lightning strikes while we were there. Only you can prevent forest fires, you know!

Lilli got to ride a pony for the first time and she loved it. Her pony's name was Woolly, and she liked petting his mane throughout the ride. I was expecting to have to pay a ridiculous amount of money for it, but we were pleasantly surprised to find out it was free, and run by a local church raising money for teen missions.

It's not a coincidence Lilli is wearing cowboy boots, either. She loves those boots, and I figured, what better place to wear them than the fair?

She got to pet some goats, rabbits, and miniature donkeys in the petting zoo.

This baby goat's name was Flower, and she was soooo tiny and cute!

This rooster was totally asleep in his food!

We got to see some chickens that are the same breeds as ours at home, except full size. We thought ours were getting so big, but these ones were huge!

Speaking of huge, I couldn't get over how big this horse was! He must have been 8 ft tall.

This steer (cow? bull?) is only 3 years old, but his horns were bigger than all the others.

Here Jason was trying to make Lilli laugh, because she was crying on the side the whole time we were riding, sad that she couldn't go too.

Natalie was the expert marshmallow roaster when it came time for s'mores. Surprisingly, Lilli didn't really like hers. She just picked the chocolate out, ate it and said she was done.

We had lots of thunder and lightning while we were there, we lost electricity once, and we even had a good hail storm! One night around sunset I took a walk into the woods and toyed with my new-ish camera. It has way more features than I know how to use, so even if these aren't technically correct or whatever you want to call it, I thought they were beautiful. I'm not normally a fan of the desert landscape (I need more green!), the air smelled so fresh and clean, and the sunset was spectacular.

We saw deer just about every day, especially this doe and her twin fawns. We also saw big gray squirrels, quail and other birds.

Last year Lilli only went in the hot tub once, but this year, she wanted in every night, and sometimes every morning! She and Daddy are convinced we need one at home.

Every night after dinner she would start asking for her "swimmy soup" and then try to find someone to take her in.

Lilli's nap schedule got really messed up, but she was a real trooper. On this day though, she didn't quite make it through lunch.

Here she is drawing some circles for me.

Nothing says vacation like multiplication flash cards. Wait, what?

There were two trips to Cultus Lake this year, but not all of us got to go at the same time for various reasons. This is the lake where my family went for many summers when I was a kid, so it has a lot of good memories for us, not to mention just being a beautiful place with a quiet, secluded beach and clear, shallow water.

Lilli was really excited to see this ladybug on her chair. She leaned in really close and was talking to herself, saying "It's okay baby, it's just a ladybug." She always makes me laugh!

*I've mentioned a few times recently that I've forgotten to wear sunscreen and have gotten burned. I think it's partly because we had such gloomy weather, I've forgotten what the sun is and why I need to wear sunscreen, and the other is that I'm the mom of a 2 year old, who always wears sunscreen, so sometimes I forget to sdo things for myself. Anyway, I did remember to put sunscreen on this time, but I put it on when I had my shirt on. So when I took my shirt off to go swimming, my arms fried to a nice lobster red, and by that night it was so painful I had a hard time falling asleep.

Before we left, we had to stop at the lodge for an ice cream cone, and just about that time, the wind picked up, the temperature dropped and it started pouring down rain. Crazy weather in the mountains!

We had the chance to meet up with a very special friend while we were on vacation. We met Wynemia (called Grandma by most everyone) at The Home of God's Love when we went to get Lilli in 2008. She has volunteered there for months at a time in the past few years. We were surprised to find out that she just lives a few hours from us! My parents have seen her once since then, but it was the first time Jason, Lilli and I had seen her in almost 2 years. She brought Lilli some presents and shared some pictures and books with my mom and I, and then we had lunch together. Lilli was calling her Grandma after an hour or so, and when she woke up the next morning, the first thing she said was "I go see Grandma Wynemia?" It was such a blessing to get to spend time with such a wonderful lady.

Those were the highlights of our trip, besides just enjoying being with family and relaxing. Coming up in a few weeks will be Jason's family reunion and the second anniversary of our adoption of Lilli. I hope everyone is enjoying their summer as much as we are!

Blessings,

Chisms

Bad blogger...

2010-07-06T21:07:00.000-07:00

Obviosuly I haven't been writing much, and I've been posting pictures even less! Most of our pictures are on Facebook, for a couple reasons. I can put my camera's memory card into my new netbook : ) and just select the pictures I want, and they're uploaded a minute later. With Blogger, it takes several minutes and it's easier to take the pictures off of our removable hard drive, but that is in another room, connected to Jason's computer. And Blogger seems to take forever to upload my pictures. Anyway, enough excuses: If you're not my friend on Facebook, email me and I can send you the links to our Facebook photo albums. Or just come and visit us, and see us in person!

I hope you're all enjoying the summer! It just got to Oregon (like today!) so we're busy summer-ing it up!

2010-06-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

Sorry we've been absent for a while. While I can say we've been really busy, I'm not sure exactly what we've been so busy with. LIFE, I guess!

We've expanded our family to include 3 chicks: Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche. I'll put up some pictures soon.

Lilli is starting swimming lessons tonight!

I'm traveling to Texas in 3 weeks to visit my friend Beth, who is having her first child next week. I can't wait to meet you, Eleanor! Me and your Mom go waaay back!

I'm trying not to think about another adoption every day. No success on that one yet.

Along with that, I'm trying to remember what it was like when I first let go of the "control" I thought I had in my own life, and gave it to Him. That was a tough one back then, and obviously it still is now. I'm not quite ready to give up on my dream of a son (or another daughter.) Even though I still pray for another child, I've starting praying for peace with whatever path God has laid out for us.

Deep thoughts with Lilli...

2010-05-31T18:29:00.000-07:00

Today as we were leaving our neighborhood, we passed our neighbor George's house. He lives right across the street from us, and he and Lilli are buddies. They're always saying hi and waving to each other. Lilli said "George's house" as we drove by and asked "George home?" George had surgery a few weeks ago and has been recuperating, so we haven't seen him in a while. I didn't figure Lilli would understand "surgery," so I told her George was sick. This is the conversation that followed:

Lilli: He sick?
Me: Yes, but he's getting better. He's okay.
Lilli: He sad...
Me: No, he's okay.
Lilli: He cry?
Me (regretting starting this conversation): No, he's not crying. He's okay.
Lilli: He lay down in bed.
Me: Yes.
Lilli: He take off a shirt.
Me: Um... (not sure where this is going)
Lilli: He wears his jammies.
Me: Yes, he does.
Lilli: He read a book.
Me: Sure. Maybe he will.
Lilli: He come outside and say hi to Lilli?
Me: Not right now, but maybe later.
Lilli: Oh.

Anyway, I thought that was pretty intuitive of her, since she doesn't have much experience with anyone being "sick."
Maybe I am easily impressed. Maybe Lilli is a child genius. Either way, I love her to pieces!

Growing up!

2010-05-25T20:29:00.000-07:00

I don't have many pictures to share this time, just some milestones for our little Lilli. Mainly that she's not so little anymore! She's still a tiny Taiwanese at 31 inches and 21.5 pounds, but she's big in so many other ways!

She is more and more interested in dressing herself, especially shoes. She wants to do it by herself, unless they're complicated, and then she'll ask me for help, usually after several minutes and many tries.

She is going all day (most days) without a potty accident, and has been for several weeks. We've even been brave enough to go out and run errands in big girl underwear. We're getting to be very familiar with the local business' bathrooms! Funny story about the "big girl underwear"- Lilli likes to play with this little ceramic baby Jesus that is part of the nativity set my mom bought her. All of our Christmas decorations have been put away for some time now, except for Jesus, because Lilli likes to hold him, rock him to sleep, put him in her pocket, take him in the car, and pretend he's flying, among other things. So she's sitting on the couch, rocking baby Jesus, and she leans in real close and says, "Baby Jesus, are you wearing your big girl underwear?" Now, I believe God has a sense of humor, and I think He got a laugh out of that one too!

I've been brushing her teeth since her first one came in (19 months ago, I can't believe it!), but now we're using the toddler's training toothpaste and learning how to spit it out in the sink. When she gets to spit in the sink, she tends to want to spit in other places too- we'll keep working on it!

Last night at my niece's softball game, Lilli tried (and succeeded) to climb the 6 foot tall chain link fence! After she figured out how to do it, she wanted to keep doing it. Over and over and over. I was the one standing there behind her, with my hand under her bottom in case she fell, which she didn't. She's a little monkey!

I can't wait for the weather to get nicer so we can start playing outside more! Are you listening, weather? This has been the most depressing May in memory. The coldest May in Oregon's recorded history! What happened to global warming? Here's hoping that the summer will be here soon, and bring the sun with it!

Blowing bubbles on one of the few sunny days we've had

She can finally reach the pedals on the trike Grammy and Papa bought her

My Grandpa and Grandma Neilson's 65th wedding anniversary is next week! The whole family will be having a celebration dinner this weekend. That's not an anniversary you see very often.

True and Frances Neilson, wedding photo, June 1945

I've recently been debating keeping my part time job. It has become a little more time than I expected or wanted. It is nice to get out of the house and feel like a productive member of society and make a little money, but I feel like it has somewhat of a negative impact on Lilli, and I'm not sure it's worth it. Ideally, we would be adopting another baby, and then staying home full time would be the only option (for us.) But, certain people are still not on board with that idea, so I'm praying. A LOT.

My friend of almost 14 years (I'm getting OLD) is having her first baby in July, and I hope to be able to visit them this summer. I'm so excited to be able to share motherhood with her!

Reading my book (upside down) to her monkey and pig

Trying out the bowling set I got her

Rocking her baby and reading (the dictionary!)

That's what's up!

Blessings,
Chisms

Dear Spring,

2010-04-18T22:15:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure where you are, but I wish you would at least come to Oregon for a visit! I started this post a few weeks ago, but hadn't had the chance to add the pictures until today. So this isn't exactly current. Also, as you can see, everything I'm typing is underlined, which is strange because I don't see a button to underline text in the first place, let alone un-underline it. Sigh.

Tonight, I was putting spray n wash on Lilli's shirt in the laundry room (which is right next to her room.) She had just gone potty and taken off all of her clothes, and was supposed to be waiting for me in her room. I came in and found her on top of her changing table, with a pull-up and a clean pair of pajamas next to her. She amazes me with the things she says and does! **Don't freak out, I did to tell her not to climb up on the table anymore- it's dangerous!**

She is wearing "big girl underwear" all the time now, except for a Pull-up at nap and bedtime. I think she is too deep of a sleeper to wake up to go potty yet. And speaking of naps, thank God she still takes them and is such a good sleeper. She wears me out and I need that time to clean up and catch my breath!

As I was rocking her before bed, she figured out how to make a diamond with her thumbs and index fingers, for "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," one of her current faves. She lay there singing, "Like a diamond in the sky" over and over. Too cute!

We got her a new fish, a very pretty betta, named Jim (just like the last one.) We asked her what the fish's name should be and she said, "Glub glub."

Lilli has always had her bath in her bathroom by herself. Lately, she has been wanting to come into the master bathroom and join whoever is in the shower. Jason will hold her and aim the spray right at her back. I have never seen her so still or quiet. She absolutely loves it!

The new play room is mostly finished! All of the trim and painting are done, and most of our stuff and Lilli's toys have been moved back in. We're probably going to put our small TV in there, and maybe get an armchair or recliner too.

Lilli's favorite baby has just about been loved to death. My mom gave her the doll shortly after she came home in the fall of 2008. We found a new one identical to it and bought it, planning to replace the old one. Do you think she let us take away the old baby? Of course not! She calls the new baby "baby sister" and the other one "old baby," and now carries 2 dolls around everywhere she goes. She's not easy to fool!

She's getting very independent, always wanting to do everything herself, or at least at first. Sometime she has to ask for help. She's working on putting her shoes on the right feet. Right now, her favorite shoes are her pink flowered cowboy boots, which she wears around the house every day, usually with a tutu : ) As seen below, where she's playing with the race car set Jason bought "for Lilli." Yeah, right!

We went to the garden center last week and picked up the plants and seeds for our garden. With what we have from last year, we'll have corn, blueberries, carrots, lettuce, green onions, sweet onions, potatoes, rhubarb, pumpkins, zucchini, peas...I think that's it! The weather here has been absolutely depressing these last few weeks. Rain, hail, thunder and lightning, one day of sunshine, then back to rain, hail, more rain. You get the idea. We haven't had a single dry day to plant the rest of our seeds!

We've been thinking about raising chickens! Do any of you have any experience with that and have any tips or chicken coop plans you could share with us?

This is a video of our little monkey climbing onto the play structure at the park all by herself. **She did it about 10 times with me right behind her before I stepped back to record it, so don't worry.**

Lilli gets to see her Uncle Scott tonight, who is home on leave from the Army. We're very excited to see him and catch up with him.

Next up: Mother's Day!

Blessings,
Chisms

Easter

2010-04-06T23:12:00.000-07:00

We had a great Easter. Incredible music and message at church, followed by dinner with my parents, my sister, and her family. We didn't get to take any pictures outside, because surprise, surprise, it was raining! No matter, we had our egg hunt inside and had fun anyway.

Here is the nice table my mom set for us:

I managed to get this cute shot by bribing Lilli with candy
to get her to hold still for 5 seconds (don't tell!)

Jason and my brother in law Craig had to get creative in order to hide all of those
eggs around the house, being sure that some were at Lilli's eye level.

Sitting with her collection. After emptying 3 or 4 eggs, I distracted her and covered the
basket with a blanket, then hid it in another room. There may have been a
short temper tantrum when she realized it was gone.

I hope everyone had a great Easter too, and remembered Jesus' sacrifice
for us and His resurrection, not just ham and bunnies. :)

With love, Chisms

We're still here...

2010-03-28T22:18:00.000-07:00

Just busy! I've been posting a lot of pictures on Facebook lately, so if you're a friend, see our life in photos there!

We are working on potty training. Lilli has made progress, but there are still bumps in the road along the way.

Lilli is turning into quite the parrot, mimicking everything we say, whether we want her to or not!

I had to work a lot more than I wanted to in the last few weeks, and am now looking forward to more time at home and getting the house back in order.

I've been experimenting with a lot of new recipes lately, mostly soups (like cauliflower, white chicken chili, chicken noodle) and breads (mostly variations of whole wheat bread for everyday.) Just when I start making some good soups, the weather starts to warm up! Well, this IS Oregon. The sun won't be out for long!

We're turning our 3rd bedroom into a playroom for Lilli. It used to be an "office" (translate: storage room for everything that doesn't have a proper place.) Jason has also started putting in the new wood trim, windowsills, and door frames all throughout the house. I've been waiting for this for SO long! It has made such a difference already, and it's not even finished! Hopefully we'll have made enough progress that I can post before and after pics soon.

I'm excited to celebrate Easter next Sunday! Lilli should be looking adorable in the outfit I've put together for her. We're having dinner with my family (Jason is most looking forward to the ham.) It will be Lilli's first Easter egg hunt, possibly inside since the weather is so unpredictable at this time of year. Most of all, we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

(On a side note, as I'm typing this, I'm listening to the rain falling on the leaves outside and LOVING IT, in true Oregonian style. Only an Oregonian can live with what seems like 364 days of rain a year and still enjoy it!)

Blessings,
Chisms

Above is the first picture. It may look like a standard windowsill and frame, but no! Our house was built in 1973, and the windows had no woodwork except for a piece of dark brown wood/particleboard across the bottom. Same goes for the trim along the floors, and the door frames- all cheap and ugly 70's dark brown. So Jason built this for me from scratch and I am beyond ecstatic! (Waiting for 3 years for this project to start helped build my enthusiasm a little.) Every door, wall, and window in the house needs this done, so it's going to be a loooong process!

RIP Jim and Pam

2010-03-10T10:27:00.000-08:00

Pam lasted for 8 days, Jim made it for 12. Lilli really enjoyed them while they were around.

Our growing family

2010-02-20T10:33:00.001-08:00

Meet the two newest members of our family, Jim and Pam!
(Pam is a little shy; she's hiding in the rock.)
Speaking from past experience,
I'd say their days are numbered.

Cabin fever

2010-02-18T20:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we get a little stir crazy being cooped up in the house during the cold winter months....Today, Jason got home before dark and we decided to have some fun outside! We bundled up, cleaned off the swing and slide, and headed out to the back yard.

A race between Lilli and Daddy, while Jasper barked at a squirrel.

Then we got Lilli's red wagon and the kite and headed to our
church's play structure. I love that smile!

Our kite and the moon

I can't wait for spring (hurry, please!)

Funny girl

2010-02-18T10:51:00.000-08:00

We had to get up extra early this morning so I could be at a staff meeting at 7:00am,
so Lilli has been up since a little past 6:00, and it's starting to show.

She told me,"Beep beep beep it's ready!" and pulled her baby
out of the microwave of her play kitchen.

I think it's nap time.

I've been trying to teach Lilli her colors, and it seemed like she didn't get it.
Everything was "geen" or occasionally yellow.

This morning, as I got her 2 mini M&M's (for going #2 on the potty) I decided
to ask her what color they were. She told me red and blue, which was correct!
Maybe she's been holding out on me.

I love my silly girl!

Up to no good...

2010-02-10T12:41:00.000-08:00

I was washing the dishes this morning while Lilli watched Sesame Street. I saw her run by the kitchen with her comb, and figured that was safe. When I was finished with the dishes, I went to see what she was doing and this is what I found:

She had gotten her water bottle too, and had been spraying herself and Jasper with it,
then combing their hair. Both of their heads were soaking wet!

This is her "Uh oh, am I in trouble?" face:

Poor, sweet Jasper just hung his head in shame, and tolerated it, as usual.

I love this kid- she never ceases to make me laugh!

Zoo trip

2010-02-06T17:09:00.000-08:00

We decided to go to the zoo this morning.
It wasn't raining, but it was a lot colder than it looked!

Lilli and this cow kept mooing at each other

Ride 'em, cowgirl

Lilli and Jason with their "cheese" faces

Jason thinks we need a rabbit...I think we should start with a fish!

Drumming in the Africa section of the zoo

One of the zoo volunteers told us a lot about the elephants that we didn't know. Packy, the oldest elephant at the zoo, is world famous! Also, the Oregon zoo has one of the most successful Asian elephant programs in the world.

I think this fish is bigger than Lilli!

Our little monkey trying to climb into an exhibit

Going through a tunnel that goes under a bird exhibit

Shhh, the tiger is sleeping

Lilli even told us when she needed to go potty, twice
while we were out, and went in the bathroom like a big girl!
Then it was time to go, since our hands were numb and our feet were tired.
Lilli took a cue from the tigers, and was asleep before we left the parking lot!

Happy birthday!

2010-01-30T21:25:00.000-08:00

Today we celebrated Lilli's second birthday. There were over 40 people crammed into our house- no small feat! We're so blessed to have all of our family close by.

The theme of the party was based on Lilli's favorite show, Ni Hao, Kai-Lan. Since the show is relatively new, it was kind of hard to find Kai-Lan things, so I improvised.

The favor boxes were take-out boxes with chopsticks, rice candy, fortune cookies and Kai-Lan stickers and temporary tattoos.

I got the personalized Kai-Lan invitations and this edible cake topper on eBay.

Because I am INSANE, I decided to make cupcakes of Rintoo and Tolee, Kai-Lan's tiger and koala bear friends. Thank God for my sister who spent over 3 hours making them with me! They were hard to decorate, but we were pretty pleased with the outcome.

Tolee

Rintoo

We strung red lanterns across the room

Lilli woke up about 15 minutes before the party started, and was a little clingy, so I wasn't able to get many pictures of her in this cute Asian inspired dress I got from Tea Collection, also online.

Blowing out the candles (kind of)

Lilli diving into her cupcake

She couldn't eat cake in her nice dress, so I found this cute shirt that says,
"I'm the birthday girl, now gimme some cake!"

So excited to open a Kai-Lan doll! She got so many great gifts, and it was fun
to see all of the different Kai-Lan items people found.

Jasper found a nice spot in the middle of the room to lie down, as usual.

After Lilli's party wound down, we had dinner to celebrate my mom's birthday, which is tomorrow. The kids had a great time playing with all of Lilli's new toys. Here is cousin Curtis pushing Lilli down the hall on her bike. She kept yelling, "Go! Go!" every time he stopped.

Lilli also had her 2 year checkup and got a great report (except for another sinus infection.) Her weight is still not even on the growth curve, but her height is now over the 25% mark! She speaks in several word sentences now, and says more words than we can count. She is doing great developmentally and has no serious health concerns. We thank God for such a healthy, smart, beautiful and precocious little girl!

It's hard to believe that Lilli is 2 years old already, and incredible to think that she has been home with us for 15 months! In some ways, our trip to Taiwan to bring her home seems like it was just yesterday. At the same time, it feels like she has been a part of our family forever.

Lilli has changed our lives in so many ways. Where we were just 2, we are now a family. No longer just Jason and April, but now Daddy and Mommy. We have met so many incredible people, shared their pain associated with childlessness, and rejoiced with them
as they journey to parenthood.

Thank you to everyone who celebrated with us today! We love you and appreciate
all of your support- past, present, and future.

Next up~ Chinese New Year!

Blessings,
Chisms

Merry Christmas! (a little late)

2010-01-08T16:17:00.000-08:00

Holiday happenings

2009-12-24T12:41:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a merry and blessed Christmas, as we did. I have to say, I love my family and wouldn't want to be anywhere else but with them on Christmas Day! It's so fun to see my brother and sister and their families, watch the kids play together, play games, reminisce.

Picking up where we left off last time, we decorated our Christmas tree together for the first time. Last year, Lilli wasn't walking yet, and was more interested in crawling over to the tree and gumming the ornaments. Here she is Mr. T style, wearing an old tree garland.

This is a cute hat and scarf set that one of my mom's co-workers made for her.

Christmas Eve with my Dad's family. Lilli, Michael and Madeline at the kids table.

Try to wrangle 4 squirmy kids for a picture and this is about as good as it gets.

Setting out the cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas Eve.
He ate some! No time for homemade sugar cookies this year.
Lilli with her new play kitchen.
She really caught on to present unwrapping this year and was nice enough to open everyone else's presents for them!
Something to color with that won't get on the walls or furniture!

I got Jason vent visors for his truck. He kept trying to guess what was inside the box but I managed to keep it a surprise.
My sister in law Laura and nephew Curtis. Unfortunately, my brother got sick late on Christmas Eve and didn't make it. It was the first year we haven't all been together! He was feeling better within a few days though, and was able to join us for he and my sister's birthday celebration on the 27th.
Next, a collection of faces Lilli made while wearing a Santa hat. (In a related post, check out "Fun with a hat" from last year!)

The wax lips in the kids' stockings proved that a cheap gift can still provide lots of fun! My mom has always been able to find lots of fun little things to put in our stockings. Jason said that's his favorite part!

All of the kids read a part of the Christmas story. We still use the same book from when I was growing up.

Natalie and Sadie pointing out baby Jesus for Lilli.
A tired Lilli snuggling up to her Daddy.

Hugging her new Kai-lan doll.
Playing with her new blocks.
My Dad serving up the prime rib!
All gathered around the table. Look! I'm actually in this picture, in the upper right corner.
Two tired babies.
An elephant ride before we hit the road.
This afternoon we got a few inches of snow! I took Lilli out for a few minutes since it isn't going to last long. The snow we get in the Portland area is usually gone within a day or less. But Mt. Hood is only about an hour away when we need a snow fix!

Trying to catch a snowflake on her tongue.
Running back to the house to get warm!
She stopped to give the snowman a hug, but then she had had enough. Pardon the mismatching gloves, they were the only 2 I could find at the moment.
Some cute things Lilli has done and said in the past few weeks:

Will say, "Ho, ho (pause) hooooooooooo!" when asked what Santa says. She has no desire to see Santa, however.

Says "Memmy Kimmas!"

Got a sinus infection for Christmas. She has to take an antibiotic twice a day for 10 days. She hates taking it and was spitting it out, kicking and screaming. I held up a piece of candy corn and told her she could have it once she took her medicine, and what do you know, she took it without a fuss! I'm not above bribing my child with candy if it gets the medicine in her and keeps me from getting covered in bright pink antibiotic and kicked in the face.

Has had 3 shots in the last month and has started to fear the doctor/doctor's office. We were watching Sesame Street and it a little boy was narrating about his visit to the doctor. It showed a hypodermic needle on a metal tray and Lilli said, "Hurt. Hurt!" I thought that was pretty smart of her. (I may be biased.)

When she saw the doctor for her sinus infection, she took his eye/ear/nose/mouth scope out of his hand and put it in her ear, before he had even done anything with it. He said he has never seen a child her age do that before!

Loves oranges right now, especially clementines. She had almost 3 with her breakfast today!

So the holiday season is almost over. I say that with a little sadness, but also relief that all of the crowds and rushing around for last minute presents is over. We are going to celebrate with Jason's family on New Year's Eve, the big Rose Bowl game is Friday, and then Saturday we will celebrate with my mom's family.

I am so excited for two of my new THOGL friends who have just been matched with beautiful baby boys! I am so happy for them and love to hear all about their adoption journey as they progress through it. It makes me want to be there too. All in God's time...

Next we are planning Lilli's 2nd birthday party. I cannot believe how fast time flies! My little baby isn't much of a baby anymore.

Until next time,
Chisms

P.S. I've noticed some poeple in far away places have been visiting our blog. If you like reading about life on the Chism trail, please let me know by leaving a comment!

Christmas tree hunting

2009-12-06T22:21:00.000-08:00

Today was our Christmas hunting expedition. Jason wanted an artificial tree, but I convinced him that Lilli needed the experience of hunting down the perfect tree, cutting it, and bringing it home. Plus, with Oregon being the #1 grower of Christmas trees in the country, we're supporting our local economy! We had an artificial tree last year for the first time, and I was not impressed.

We started with breakfast at Dea's, a local institution. An elderly lady stopped by our table and asked, "Does he know how to say "como estas?" I said, "No, she doesn't" and the lady apologized for calling her a boy, so I didn't bother to bring up that she is also not Mexican, but Taiwanese. Sheesh! Jason and I just rolled our eyes and laughed.

Here are Lilli and Jason walking down the rows looking for a tree.

This one was just her size! The poor thing looked like a marshmallow, wrapped up in a winter coat, a jacket and a turtleneck, along with hat and gloves. It was about 30 degrees outside, and the wind was blowing really hard, so it felt even colder.

Lilli spotted some horses, and even though she had never seen
one in person before, ran towards them yelling, "Hosey, hosey!"

Lilli found this branch and carried it around the whole time, calling it "my tree."

Here they are with our pick: a 7-foot Douglas fir for only $10! For those of you in the area, the farm is called Donahue's, right off of the Boring exit on Highway 26. They will even cut and bale the tree for you. For those of you not from this area, yes, there is a town in Oregon called Boring. I used to live there.
It lives up to its name.

Timber!

Future Lumber-Jill
Lilli loved the farm's border collie. I think he reminded
her of our part collie at home. More on Jasper later.

Mt. Hood getting a dusting of snow.The tree is now in its stand in the living room, but not yet decorated. Pictures to come!

Lilli has started talking in (partial) sentences. Some of them include:
I do it
You do it
Lilli shoes off
Lilli coat off
Mommy coat off too
Lilli socks on
Lilli boots on- you get the point
A few days ago, she said, "Mommy, hold me." Talk about melting my heart! The next day she had me cracking up when she laid down next to Jasper and said, "Jappas, hold me!"

She has also learned that Santa says "ho ho ho." Unfortunately, when she saw Santa at the Christmas party we went to tonight, she would only say "no, no, no." She wasn't too fond of him last year, and I guess this year will be more of the same. This is the best shot we could get, and you can see her giving Santa the evil eye.

That's all for now! May your shopping lines be short,
your loved ones near, and your hearts and cups of cheer be full!

~Chisms

Fall Miscellany

2009-11-13T22:42:00.001-08:00

It's been a busy fall around the Chism household. Here it is almost Thanksgiving and I haven't posted pictures in a month! So this post will hopefully get everyone caught up.

We've all had a visit from the flu bug in the last month. Jason and I both turned 31- he on the 11th, me today. We are trying to save and fundraise for our second adoption (see previous post.)

My friend Beth came to visit for a week, and we went to Hood River for apples and the beautiful scenery. Here is Lilli at Kiyokawa Farms, our favorite farm on the Fruit Loop, with a big juicy Honeycrisp apple.

She really liked the goats at Draper Farms:

After the goats, she had a little meltdown,

but was back to her sweet self in just a few minutes.
Another good friend, Nicole, made it up to Portland from the San Francisco area, and we took Lilli and her son Jack to a pumpkin patch. We noticed that they did a good job of playing near each other without really playing WITH each other. Lilli had her picture taken on this tractor last year, and her whole body fit on just the seat! This year, since she is a big girl, she was able to sit up there without any assistance. It was, apparently, a "blank look" day for her (see the next three pictures with no expression on her face.)

Jack ate almost all of that apple by himself!

A new friend from church, Angie, took some fall photos for us. They were actually the first professional pictures of the three of us together.

If you click on this picture to enlarge it, you can see a little tear under her left eye.
It just melts my heart!

Here she was running in her new boots and fell down, kind of reminding me of Carrie at the beginning of Little House on the Prairie, which is one of my all-time favorite shows. But I digress, as I usually do!

This was Lilli's first experience carving pumpkins, since we didn't do it last year. When Lilli says pumpkin, it sounds like "pungkung."

I said "Yuck!" when Jason pulled all the guts out of the pumpkin, and Lilli was flinging seeds and guts all over the table and saying "Yuck!' after that.

Jason found a Ni Hao, Kai-lan pumpkin stencil for Lilli's pumpkin. I just freehanded a silly face on mine. Jason's didn't end up getting carved because we ran out of time. We had to fit in visits to both sets of grandparents, as well as my grandparents, a little trick-or-treating in our neighborhood, pictures, dinner, and of course, the Ducks game.

Lilli was a ladybug this year, as well as a lot of other little girls we know (at least 5 that I can think of.) I couldn't resist the Hello Kitty candy basket! She learned the word "candy" that day, and asks for it all the time now, even though she doesn't get it.

Lilli the ladybug with cousin Tucker the lion. King Andrew I is in the background.

Some of Lilli's favorite things right now:

-saying "OK" after everything I say
-soup
-her boots
-the songs "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"
-pajamas, the word and the clothing article
-trying to dress herself
-saying "Mommy!" over and over and wrapping herself around my leg
-saying "I do it" when it comes to getting dressed or eating
-saying "You do it" when she is done coloring, and then she wants to watch me color
-her tea set
Lilli finally hit the 20-pound mark at the doctor's office last week. Granted, she had just eaten and was fully clothed, but I'll take it! She has 13 teeth and is getting 3 canine teeth right now.

Until next time,
Chisms

Taiwan: Part 2

2009-11-01T22:38:00.000-08:00

We are currently on the waiting list for another child at The Home of God's Love. We do not know when or how, but are praying for God's direction and provision. Money is tight right now- I only work one to two days a week, because I want to be at home for Lilli, as well as her future sibling. Jason is paid on commission, and the recession has been affecting his pay.
A new addition to this blog is the PayPal "donate" button on the right side of the page. I have had qualms about openly asking for help with our adoption in the past. A family member reminded me that adoption is not unlike missions, and people give money to support missions all the time. So here goes!
I don't expect anyone to make a donation. But if you feel the Lord leading you to donate money, no matter how small the amount, we would be so grateful!
Making a donation is simple- just click on the "donate" button and make a credit card donation. Or, sign up with PayPal (it's free and easy) and you can make a donation directly from your bank account.

Blessings,
Chisms

Things I Love

2009-10-20T18:30:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking of writing down all of the things that I love, things that make me smile every day, things I am thankful for. I tend to talk about the negatives in my life more than the positives, and I'm trying to change that. Here goes:

I love Lilli's tiny voice. I love the way she says "Kai-Lan," one of her newest words. She doesn't watch much TV, but lately she has been pointing to the TV and saying this. (Kai-Lan is a Chinese cartoon character on Nickelodeon.) I love the way she says "I love you," which comes out more like "wub woo." We waited so long to hear her say that! I absolutely love the way she loves her bed. She curls up into a little ball, clutching her baby and her blankie, puts her thumb in her mouth and smiles when it's time to go night-night. I love the way she takes off running, puts her arms straight up in the air and says, "Running!"

I love the Mongolian spots on her little bum. I love her rosebud mouth, her long fingers, her black eyes, her long, long eyelashes. I love the way her nose wrinkles up when she smiles. I love how she wraps her little hand around my pinkie finger when we walk together. I love her silky soft black hair, even though she won't let me fix it. I love her inquisitive nature, her sweet spirit and her zest for life.

I love my husband for loving our baby so much. I don't think either of us knew we could possibly love a child THIS much. I love that he is such a fun and playful dad. He carries her around like a plane, on his shoulders, and gives "pony" rides. He makes her laugh louder and harder than anyone else with his silly games and faces. He builds things for her, like a cardboard box playhouse that could probably fit a couch inside, complete with a door, windows, a light inside, and shingles drawn on the roof. **I had to add the pictures of her playhouse, see below.

I love The Home of God's Love, without whom we might never have become a family. I love that Ted and Bev Skiles have worked tirelessly for the last 40 years in Taiwan doing God's work, saving babies from abortion and desertion, giving the gift of a child to hurting couples who cannot have a child on their own.

I love my God, who will never forsake me, who who is so awesome and who has worked such miracles in my life, even when I was too broken and bitter to recognize it.

Other things I love:
A double tall soy white mocha from Starbucks
Fall in Oregon. The rain, the beautiful colors of God's creation, the rain, the start of the holiday season, and did I mention the rain? I love it!
Spending time with my family, who I am fortunate to live so close to
My faithful old mutt Jasper, who was our baby for 6 years before Lilli came along, who is so sweet and gentle with Lilli, who tolerates all of her poking and hair pulling

These things more than make up for the things that I don't love. For example:
Rude, demanding, unreasonable and irrational people. (I work part-time in a doctor's office.)
How much my double tall soy white mocha costs
The migraines I get that take time away from the things I love
Bills
Spiders
The 60mph winds we get in the Columbia Gorge that blow over fences and garbage cans, rattle the windows and knock down small children.
My loved ones who've passed away that won't get to be a part of Lilli's life.
That's the short list.

What do you love and not love? I'd LOVE to hear from you!

Blessings,
Chisms

Moon Festival

2009-10-03T17:02:00.000-07:00

Today as I sat bored at the computer, wondering what to do for the rest of the day, I found out from a friend that the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival was being celebrated this weekend. Read more on the origins of the festival here.

I did some searching and found the location for the Portland festival. An hour later, Jason, Lilli, my friend Debbi and I were on our way!

We were lucky it was sunny and not raining, since the festival was outside. There were dragon dancers, singers, and traditional Chinese dancers. There were also several booths selling Chinese food and drinks, as well as jewelry, souvenirs and moon cakes. (More on those later.)

Here's Lilli, ready for the show to start:

The dragon dancers started up on stage,

wove their way in and out of the crowd

and we even got to see who was underneath! The drums were quite loud and the dragon came right up to her face but she wasn't scared at all!

I wanted to try bubble tea, which is really popular in Taiwan, but they were all out of "bubble" (big tapioca pearls.) So I got a frozen mango slushy-type drink with "jelly," basically chunks of jell-o. It was really good!

Here are some pictures of the dancers in their traditional dress:

Lilli had to take a kettle-corn break. (I don't think that's a Chinese food!)

Looking sleepy under the canopy of the parasol we bought her

Now, about those moon cakes. I had tried one last year in Taiwan with a red bean paste filling that I didn't care for, but we bought a tin of "lotus" to try. Okay, I wanted them more for pictures than for eating! The ingredients are just lotus bean paste, sugar, flour, egg white, and peanut oil.

These ones are stamped with a Chinese character on top

The cakes are very dense and heavy, the filling inside is almost translucent and really smooth, and they smell strongly of peanut oil.

I cut a teeny tiny piece to try. It wasn't bad, but I definitely wouldn't eat the whole thing!

Here's Lilli's reaction to the piece I gave her, right before she spit it out:

So we had fun today, and it was nice to experience some of the culture of Lilli's home country.

Most people don't know that 98% of Taiwanese people are actually Chinese in heritage, and the other 2% (under 500,000) are native or aboriginal Taiwanese people from the "mountain tribes." Lilli's birth parents were from the Ami and Puyuma tribes. So while she is not Chinese, the country she is from is mainly a Chinese society.

Jason and I are still undecided as to how much we want to immerse Lilli in Chinese culture. We know it is important for adopted children to feel a connection with the place of their birth, and that can play a big part in their identity as a person. However, we also feel that adoptive parents can place too much emphasis on where a child came from and not enough on the place that they live and the culture they are growing up in.

For example, Lilli watches "Ni Hao, Kai-lan," a cartoon about a Chinese girl who lives in America. She has a couple items of traditional Chinese clothing we bought for her while in Taiwan. We are making a scrapbook or lifebook to show her where she came from. But we do not attend every Chinese culture event in the area. We think it is fun to learn words and phrases in Mandarin, but we are not going to send her to a special school or a tutor so that she will be fluent in it, etc.

That's just our opinion, obviously we're not child-rearing experts, but this is where we are now, what we think is best for Lilli and our family. Adoptive parents: What is your opinion on native culture immersion? How involved are you and your children? I'm always interested to hear other's opinions.

Until next time,

Zai Jain (goodbye in Mandarin) from the Chisms!

Happy 1st Adoption Day!

2009-08-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

Today marked a big day for our little family...it was one year ago that we arrived in Taiwan and held Lilli for the first time! In some ways, it feels like she's always been with us, but in others, time has flown by so quickly! To quote another adoptive mom friend, I feel in some ways that I was robbed of the first 6 months of Lilli's life. But at the same time, it was all in God's plan, and she was being taken care of by very special people until we could be together.

I've been thinking a lot about this in the days leading up to our Adoption Day (Gotcha Day to some, I just have a grammatical problem with the word Gotcha.) I have repeatedly thanked God for all of the special people who worked to bring us together.

Hsaio-Ping, Lilli's birth mother, who gave her child a chance at life rather than abort her.

The people at Ray of Hope, who counsel women in crisis against abortion.

Ted and Bev Skiles, for devoting their lives to the people of Taiwan, these beautiful children who need homes, and the childless couples who want a baby so badly.

Our pastor Tj and his wife April, who adopted their daughter from Taiwan, and gave us the information for The Home of God's Love.

Almighty, omniscient God, for answering our prayers in a way we never could have dreamed, and for filling our hearts with love for this little girl.

Here are some pictures that I may not have shared before...

This is one of the first pictures taken at The Home of God's Love, when Lilli was just 5 days old.

She was so tiny (4lbs, 2oz at birth.) Look at those skinny little legs!

This is the first picture we received of her, taken on Valentine's Day, the day we got "the call." I love how Mama Bev said, "I'm holding a 2 week old baby girl here, and she's yours if you want her!" I was at home alone (romantic, huh?) and Jason was on a motorcycle ride. Bev asked if I wanted to talk to him about it and call her back, and I said I didn't think we needed to discuss it. OF COURSE we wanted her! I was up all night checking my email for this picture:

I couldn't believe how beautiful she was, and that she would someday be my daughter.

This is one of the first pictures of Lilli and me, shortly after meeting her

at the airport. (All that excitement wore her out!)

Here are Ted and Bev Skiles, the wonderful people God has chosen to take care of these babies and find homes for them. This picture was taken on the day we left Taiwan for home.

To celebrate, we had dinner with family at a local Chinese restaurant (Lilli loves noodles and chopsticks), then came back to our house for dessert. I baked 3 cakes: fresh apple (a crowd pleaser!), German chocolate, and confetti (basically just the leftovers from the baby cake I made just for Lilli.) The gladiolas on the table are from our front yard. A good friend also sent a beautiful arrangement of calla lilies, my favorite flower! (Thanks again Jonesy! Sorry I don't have a picture.)

Here's Lilli before:

and after demolishing the cake!

I asked the guests to write a note to Lilli on special cards I bought- words of wisdom, a story or special memory. I'll save them and give them to Lilli when she's older.

All in all, it was a great day. We spent it as a family, and with our extended family who all love Lilli and prayed for her before they even knew her name.

Until next time-

Blessings, Chisms

Perplexed

2009-08-16T14:50:00.000-07:00

I try not to use this blog as a platform for my opinions and biases, but I read something yesterday that honestly perplexed and disturbed me. So I am stepping up on my soapbox for a minute. It was another adoptive mom's blog (which I won't name because that would be rude) in which she talked about a person at a coffee shop asking her where her daughter is from. She told the person that it was private information, and that she was surprised he would feel comfortable asking such a personal question.

First of all, I don't see any harm in a person asking. It's not like someone can't tell Lilli is adopted, when seeing a petite Asian baby with her rather large, pale parents of Scandinavian descent! We are not ashamed that she is adopted, our adoption experience was great and we like to share it with everyone who is interested, and we can't wait to go back! When she is old enough to understand, she will know that she was adopted and that she is special because of that fact.

Secondly, if you prefer not to answer, or if your child is older and uncomfortable discussing it, you don't need to be rude about it. Say something like "we prefer not to discuss it with people we don't know" or something along those lines. I think it's natural for people to be curious, and unless they're being pushy or rude, I don't think they should be chastised for asking a simple question.

Just this afternoon, while having lunch with Jason, Lilli, and my parents after church, an older woman came up and asked us that exact question. "Where is she from?" We told her, she shared with us that her great-grandson was adopted from Vietnam, we chatted for a minute, and she left. Not offensive or intrusive to me in the least.

Maybe it's because the blog-mommy's daughter is older and she has gotten tired of hearing the question from strangers? Maybe I will start to feel the same way later on, but right now, I'm not bothered in the least by people showing interest in my daughter, her heritage, and her adoption story.

Adoptive moms out there: do you agree with me, or can you share a contrasting point of view with me? I'm interested to hear other's opinions.

Stepping down now,
April

July 2009 part 2

2009-08-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

We were all excited to find out that we were not far from Crater Lake, and decided to go. The last time my family was there, I was only a year or so old. Needless to say, I didn't remember it! The view is so incredible, the trip was well worth it!

The lake is almost 2,000 feet deep at the deepest point, and lies in the caldera of a collapsed volcano (Mount Mazama.) The water is also extremely pure and clear, given that the only water coming into the lake is rain and snowmelt. Here's the link to a page all about it if you're interested:

http://www.nps.gov/crla/

Jason likes to think this is Lilli's "Go Ducks!" pose. (Sorry Beavers fans.)

An attempt at a family photo...

Emmalie and Natalie

Wizard Island

We could see all the way to California!

As usual, it was over so quickly. Here we are on the steps of our house, saying goodbye.

Grammy and Papa, with all of their grandkids

Lilli, texting her BFF on the way home...

We came home to a week of the hottest weather anyone could remember (up to 107!), so we hung out at the pool alot.

Grandma and Grandpa's pugs, Rosie and Chloe, needed to cool off too.

Rosie couldn't handle it anymore and just laid down.

Running through the sprinkler

Trying to catch the bubbles

About to go down the slide

Whee!

The first corn from our garden!

Playing around. I can't resist taking pictures of my beautiful baby!

Daddy started a game with Lilli where he takes her baby doll and says, "One, two, three, boom!" and throws the baby or makes her fall over. So lately, Lilli likes to say it and then throw HERSELF down. She thinks it's great fun!

(This is the "boom" part.)

Empty the toy bin, climb inside it, then climb on top of it!

So smart!

Poor Jasper...She invades all of his personal space, even his rug here, right behind the computer. He tolerates it very well, though, and I'm happy that she loves her dog so much!

Cousins Curtis and Sadie came up and spent a few days with Grammy and Papa, and we went to the park to feed the ducks.

Watching Veggie Tales. This lasted for all of 30 seconds.

Disclaimer: For those of you who read this blog and are my friend on Facebook, I feel like a lot of the pictures and information on here are redundant, and they are. If Facebook weren't so easy to upload photos to, and Blogger weren't so hard and time-consuming, I would blog more, but Facebook is, and Blogger is, so I don't. There, you've been warned.

Lilli's 18 month check-up was this week, and we were very pleased with the report. She has grown 3 inches in the last 6 months, up to 31". Alas, her weight is still only 19lbs, but her doctor said she is healthy and it shouldn't be a problem. I asked if he thinks she'll make it to 5 feet, and he said she'll probably get to be 5'2" or 5'3" even!

Interestingly enough, Lilli's pediatrician is married to another pediatrician whose wife is Taiwanese, and therefore his children are 1/2 Taiwanese. So he knows alot about the Taiwanese people. He said Lilli is his only patient that is a Taiwanese aborigine, or from the mountain tribes.

Anyway, I told him how Lilli knows over 40 words, and he didn't believe me at first! He asked if she was just mimicking us, and I told him that she says these words without anyone saying them first, asks for things by name, and can point out animals and other items in books. She proved some of that to him by doing her elephant impression, and saying cracker and some other words.
He was impressed by how observant she is, and said she is obviously bonded to me and well adjusted.

Here she is looking super cute and happy before the appointment,

and finding comfort in the bottle (and her hat) after the appointment and 3 shots. Little does she know that the doctor has nixed the baba as well and it's on its way out!

Later, after some spaghetti (see her band-aids?)

a bath, and a beard made of bubbles, she felt much better.

Coming up: Our first Gotcha Day with Lilli!

Blessings,

Chisms

July 2009, part 1

2009-08-08T21:26:00.000-07:00

Once again, another month has flown by! July was such a busy month for our family, it's going to take me a few posts to cram it all in!

We had the annual 4th of July celebration at my grandparents' pool, followed by BBQ and fireworks at my Aunt Trudy's house. It was one of the hottest 4th of July weekends I can remember! (It's usually overcast and cool, if not raining, in the Portland area.)

Here's Lilli, posing with a tortilla chip in all her patriotic finery:

My sister's girls, Emmalie

and Natalie

As you can see, the pool water was very...green! The pool guy said it is called mustard algae, and several hundred pools in the area had it around that time. (He said it was perfectly safe!)

Striking a pose on the diving board

Holey boards at my aunt's house. My grandparents used to play holey boards a lot with the Elks. It's a fun game the whole family can play!

Emmalie and cousin Todd helped Grandpa keep score

Grandpa even played a few rounds, just 2 days before his 88th birthday! Lilli "helped" by picking up the washers.

Somehow, Lilli got inside the box her new xylophone came in, didn't seem to mind being stuck in it, and wore it around for about 15 minutes!

She'd finally had enough. Instead of taking it off, she just laid down with it...

Being silly with Daddy before bedtime. We bought her that hat in Taiwan last summer.

A few weeks ago, we had 4 or 5 days of over 100 degree temperatures, and decided that popsicles and the sprinkler was a good way to beat the heat.

The whole Neilson clan went to Central Oregon on our annual family vacation, and this time we were a group of 13, since it was Lilli's first time. What a great week! The weather was great, we relaxed, played games, swam, and just enjoyed each other's company.

Here we are at Cultus Lake, a place that brings back wonderful memories from my childhood. We spent many summers at this very spot. The water is shallow, clear and warm, so it's a perfect place for swimming. Plus, on a Thursday afternoon, it was almost deserted!

We found these inflatable kayaks (canoes? Whatever they are) at a garage sale right before we left and definitely got our money's worth. Everyone took a turn, including my mom!

Lilli and Papa

My brother Erik and his son Curtis decided to re-enact a scene from our childhood. They caught a bunch of crawdads in the creek, put them in a cooler and brought them home. Then they boiled them, made some garlic butter, and dared everyone to eat them. Surprisingly, Curtis was one of the last ones to try a bite. Even more surprisingly, the little girls ate them with little to no complaining!

The bridge across Cultus Creek, made out of huge logs

Grammy and Lilli

Cousins Sadie and Emmalie

I know you can't see the poeple in the picture very well, but I loved the way the sun on the water made it sparkle.

That spoon was almost as big as Lilli's head!

"I KNOW these go on my head somehow..."

Almost...

Success! (With help from Auntie Erika)

Big dragonfly

After swimming, we went up to the lodge for waffle cones, and enjoyed this beautiful view from the patio.

Emmalie and Natalie

Erik and Curtis

Mmm, chocolate peanut butter!

Trying Daddy's Oregon Huckleberry

Sugar high!

All tuckered out after an adventurous day...

Stay tuned for July, part 2.

We hope everyone is keeping cool and enjoying their summer!

Blessings,

Chisms

Father's Day photo shoot

2009-07-03T18:03:00.000-07:00

So I took Lilli to have her pictures taken as a surprise for Jason's first Father's Day. (Thanks to my Mom for coming and helping out!) These are some of our favorites:

She just couldn't stay in that chair for more than 2 seconds!

The actual prints we bought of this picture are in sepia, and I like that aspect a lot better.

Showing us the duck's mouth.

Pulling out the barrette that matched her outft perfectly!

Who's out there? There was a little boy named Jayden in the studio who kept trying to come in with us. He was running around saying, "Baby? Baby?" and so Lilli was looking for him.